Ok so now that I've reached my minimal sarcasm quota for the intro I thought I'd better attempt to replicate the poster so that it is easy to follow my rant. Everything in yellow is on the poster.
CHRISTIANS
[UNCUT]
*picture of a hammer coming down hard on a small stereo system*
Smashing the Stereotype
(just wanted to interject here to give my nod of approval to the use of pictorial puns. Haw haw, jolly good)
[UNCUT]
*picture of a hammer coming down hard on a small stereo system*
Smashing the Stereotype
(just wanted to interject here to give my nod of approval to the use of pictorial puns. Haw haw, jolly good)
[Week 1] Christians aren't perfect people
[Week 2] Christians aren't "religious"
[Week 3] Why is there suffering in the world? (feat. Bishop Muhima)
[Week 4] Christians love sex
[Week 5] Christians can drink
[Week 6] Christians who love science
[Week 2] Christians aren't "religious"
[Week 3] Why is there suffering in the world? (feat. Bishop Muhima)
[Week 4] Christians love sex
[Week 5] Christians can drink
[Week 6] Christians who love science
Jesus non-existant Christ! They've sure got a lot of explanations here. First of all I would just like to point out that nobody who is against religion or Christianity thinks that Christians are perfect people. Who the fuck would? I'm pretty sure Richard Dawkins is atheist because he believes religious folk are counter productive, morally confused slaves to an ancient, incomprihensible text. So I don't really know what they would say in that sermon, something about everybody being sinners and all we need to do is prey for forgiveness. Some shit like that.
Second week has already been mocked by me but let me elaborate in a more professional way. Christians ARE religious because they have devoted their lives to the service of a Christ-based religion. It's akin to saying that apples aren't fruit or humans aren't animals or that Yes Minister isn't a really fucking awesome and clever television series. It's just plain old wrong. But just to let me put it another way. If Christains aren't "religious" then what the fuck are they, a cult? Or are they just a bunch of people who all like the same book a whole bunch, stunt the growth of humanity as a whole and enjoy getting up early to hang out in churches? So that week is shit. Next!
Ah yes the old athiest argument, "if there's an all powerful god who cares about us why does he let us wallow in our own misery and suffering so often?" This is where they bust out their "the lord moves in mysterious ways" and "God must test our faith" arguments. Let me be perfectly blunt, these arguments are shite. If God is such a fucking enigmatic character then how can the bible be considered accurate. The bible after all is written by a bunch of men vainly trying to understand God, so if it's still a mystery you might as well prop up your piano with it because it will inevitably be unreliable as a guide. Also God wouldn't need to test our faith if he actually made life good. If world hunger was instantly abolished tomorrow I might be more inclined to think that the bible might be on to something, but you know what? God's too busy trying to bully us into Sunday mass. So let's just say that God is as he is in the bible, then he is a bloodthirsty, merciless, self centred bastard who is in no way deserving of our time or effort. According to the bible God's death toll dwarves that of Satan's. So why does bad stuff happen? Because the universe is a place of random chance and undiscriminating chaos. Christians live and die by the same rules as the rest of us.
Christians love sex. Not just like. They LOOOOOVE it. Let me just say that most people do. But what they're trying to clear up here is the fact that sex is a gift from God for married couples. Christians tend to abstain up to the honeymoon point, or at least promote that value. That's why just about every Christian I know at the moment is engaged to wed at such a young age. There's only so much holding hands and dry humping a couple can do before they seal the deal. Now does this sound good to you? I mean you gotta be sure you're ready for marriage. You wouldn't wanna rush into things. Besides sex is one of the deepest forms of intimacy going these days, so how could you be sure about marriage without it? And I mean if you really want it what's the point of witholding it from yourselves? "Oh because it's with the right person and it's all the better because I saved it for the person I really love and blah blah blah." How could it be better? Sex is something you get better at with EXPERIENCE. Everyone's first time is going to be a massive lolnoob fml situation to a certain extent. So why not get good at it so that you can really impress your true love when the time comes? I'm not saying I think all people should have sex all the time with anyone they can but if you actually want to then don't let people tell you not to do it.
Christians can drink. Don't really care about this argument too much. Drink, don't drink, it really feels like I'm retreading the sex ground here.
Now this one is good, Christians who love science. This could almost be a whole blog unto itself. This is a weird debate to take up but ultimately I feel that the bible and science are incompatible. Science demands constant scrutiny, especially on itself. Religion is about excuses and coming up with defensive arguments against scientific progress. Christianity especially is obsessed with tarting up the church in order to make it appeal to the susceptible, vulnerable and confused youth (as this poster aptly demonstrates). So what about these people who sit on the fence and practice science but remain closet God followers? Well this is the part that's weird. There are so many degrees of religious devotion. You could believe every single word your minister serves up to you or you could take it all as vague suggestion and pick out the bits you identify with and leave the rest. Either way seems odd to me. The bible is a mass of contadictions and very strange passages that aren't in the slightest bit believable. Plus is you pick and mix your own parts of the bible then doesn't that sort of nullify that validity of the bible as a whole? If it's whatever you want it to be then why does it need to be there at all except to use quotes to back youself up when you're inevitably in a heated debate over the internet with a no good, indecent, morally abhorrent blogger.
Second week has already been mocked by me but let me elaborate in a more professional way. Christians ARE religious because they have devoted their lives to the service of a Christ-based religion. It's akin to saying that apples aren't fruit or humans aren't animals or that Yes Minister isn't a really fucking awesome and clever television series. It's just plain old wrong. But just to let me put it another way. If Christains aren't "religious" then what the fuck are they, a cult? Or are they just a bunch of people who all like the same book a whole bunch, stunt the growth of humanity as a whole and enjoy getting up early to hang out in churches? So that week is shit. Next!
Ah yes the old athiest argument, "if there's an all powerful god who cares about us why does he let us wallow in our own misery and suffering so often?" This is where they bust out their "the lord moves in mysterious ways" and "God must test our faith" arguments. Let me be perfectly blunt, these arguments are shite. If God is such a fucking enigmatic character then how can the bible be considered accurate. The bible after all is written by a bunch of men vainly trying to understand God, so if it's still a mystery you might as well prop up your piano with it because it will inevitably be unreliable as a guide. Also God wouldn't need to test our faith if he actually made life good. If world hunger was instantly abolished tomorrow I might be more inclined to think that the bible might be on to something, but you know what? God's too busy trying to bully us into Sunday mass. So let's just say that God is as he is in the bible, then he is a bloodthirsty, merciless, self centred bastard who is in no way deserving of our time or effort. According to the bible God's death toll dwarves that of Satan's. So why does bad stuff happen? Because the universe is a place of random chance and undiscriminating chaos. Christians live and die by the same rules as the rest of us.
Christians love sex. Not just like. They LOOOOOVE it. Let me just say that most people do. But what they're trying to clear up here is the fact that sex is a gift from God for married couples. Christians tend to abstain up to the honeymoon point, or at least promote that value. That's why just about every Christian I know at the moment is engaged to wed at such a young age. There's only so much holding hands and dry humping a couple can do before they seal the deal. Now does this sound good to you? I mean you gotta be sure you're ready for marriage. You wouldn't wanna rush into things. Besides sex is one of the deepest forms of intimacy going these days, so how could you be sure about marriage without it? And I mean if you really want it what's the point of witholding it from yourselves? "Oh because it's with the right person and it's all the better because I saved it for the person I really love and blah blah blah." How could it be better? Sex is something you get better at with EXPERIENCE. Everyone's first time is going to be a massive lolnoob fml situation to a certain extent. So why not get good at it so that you can really impress your true love when the time comes? I'm not saying I think all people should have sex all the time with anyone they can but if you actually want to then don't let people tell you not to do it.
Christians can drink. Don't really care about this argument too much. Drink, don't drink, it really feels like I'm retreading the sex ground here.
Now this one is good, Christians who love science. This could almost be a whole blog unto itself. This is a weird debate to take up but ultimately I feel that the bible and science are incompatible. Science demands constant scrutiny, especially on itself. Religion is about excuses and coming up with defensive arguments against scientific progress. Christianity especially is obsessed with tarting up the church in order to make it appeal to the susceptible, vulnerable and confused youth (as this poster aptly demonstrates). So what about these people who sit on the fence and practice science but remain closet God followers? Well this is the part that's weird. There are so many degrees of religious devotion. You could believe every single word your minister serves up to you or you could take it all as vague suggestion and pick out the bits you identify with and leave the rest. Either way seems odd to me. The bible is a mass of contadictions and very strange passages that aren't in the slightest bit believable. Plus is you pick and mix your own parts of the bible then doesn't that sort of nullify that validity of the bible as a whole? If it's whatever you want it to be then why does it need to be there at all except to use quotes to back youself up when you're inevitably in a heated debate over the internet with a no good, indecent, morally abhorrent blogger.
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