Sunday, September 20, 2009

Why Golf is the Only Sport That Isn't Evil

I sometimes wonder if my posts ever alienate people. Here I am perched atop my ivory tower casting stones at things that I know some of my readers like and praising things that I don't think my readers would have heard of. I have, on occasion, chosen not to post on certain topics knowing full well that the topic would cause resentment amoungst certain readers. When I grew to dislike many aspects of the show Skins, a show I once thought very highly of and many of my friends still do, I chose not to blog about it for fear of direct confrontation. But that was when my blog was more popular, so now I say "fuck it" and type whatever I want about whatever I want. I say this because I had made a remark several weeks ago to a reader about how I thought sports were a very frivolous and pointless endeavor only to be reminded, to my embarrassment, that she plays hockey. Luckily she's not the kind of person who is easily offended by such bold and careless remarks and so I feel that I am quite safe in not alienating at least one reader of mine with todays post. Speaking of todays post, perhaps it's time I stopped mouthing off and got down to buisness.

Ok so as briefly mentioned just before, I think sport is silly. It occured to me one evening that sports have no artistic merits and don't educate us or make us better people in any way. Sure there's the entertainment value, but sport is so cyclic and endless it kinda depresses me. Your team wins some, it looses some, players are constantly replaced and then eventually you're dead, while your team and your sport are constantly being reborn. I do find myself getting into certain events like the Soccer World Cup or the Olympics, but that's about it and it's mostly for the bonding that goes along with it. So it is for this reason that I boldly implied that all sports are evil in the title.

But then there's the implied exception, golf. Golf is very often thought of as a boring sport, especially in terms of spectating. While I agree that golf is absolutely no fun to watch I have to say I see much more appeal in it. Golf is a sport you play at your own pace, in a variety of nicely landscapped outdoor environments and it's not the kind of heavy, endurance sport that you can only play well for a few decades before permanently fucking up some precious bodypart. I like it like that, I could see myself playing golf more often. Also, with other sports the places you play are very much the same. An olympic sized swimming pool for example is always mostly the same. A golf course on the other hand will display much variety between different courses. It keeps you on your toes and will mean you never get too bored with the scenery.

So anyway I dunno really how I should wrap this all up. I guess it would be inproper of me to slander sport like I just have without also acknowledging that I have always been crap at physical activities. I had shitty motorneurone skills that I needed to develope at a special school thing and I always felt left out because I was so fucking useless at everything. So now that I'm all jaded and emotionally dead with a nice blog I can enact revenge on all the things that turned me into the monster I am today. So golf, I like you, you never made me feel like an inadequate man. All other sport *starts crying* FUCK YOU! *Runs to phone his psychiatrist*

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