It struck me recently just how little my blog actually resembles the classic blog model. I don't indulge you with what I ate for breakfast (cereal). I've never opened up to the blogosphere and poured my heart out like a whiney teenager (I don't have a heart). And I flat out refuse to run crying back to my blog to bog myself down in self reflection and pseudo philosophical bullshit everytime I misinterpret a social neuance like I'm trying to mirror the life of a character from Sex and the City. But having said that the whole point for starting this blog in the first place, I mean appart from Lucy telling me I should, was that I had found myself stuck in a rut and thought that a blog might get my creative wanking muscles nice and strong again. But after doing this thing for a few years now it's become increasingly apparent that I'm slipping into a new rut. A rut consisting of me swearing and telling you how much I love/hate some movie/game. So after experiencing a rather strange day I decided I'd share with you some of the anecdotes and musings I went through in what will hopefully be an entertaining manner more resembling the blogs of my peers.
So it was a Tuesday. And Christ what a dick of a day Tuesday is. As my inevitable second day in a row getting about 5 or less hours of sleep, I find that getting up at 9am to drag my unenthused arse to a dimly lit lecture room to watch a powerpoint slide predominantly featuring long and samey reaction mechanisms warrents a hard earned nap afterwards. Except I never quite get around to napping. I have a 2 hour gap between the time I get home and my afternoon chemistry workshop which is exactly enough time to strip down, dim the lights, get under the covers, try to sleep, fail, get back up and put all your clothes back on just in time to do it all over again.
Now this brings me nicely to the first of my little anecdots. Whilst waiting for my workshop up at the campus cafe I discovered to my absolute horror that I lacked any and all writing utensils, having gotten them out at home in an ill-conceived attempt at study. I didn't much fancy the idea of sitting in an intimate classroom with 5 other students and my lecturer whilst they busily scribbled out answers to the worksheet and I was stuck trying to look like I'm in a deep state of engagement and understanding with molecular symmetry. I was also hungry and so concluded that the best option for the slaughtering of these two birds would be to visit the campus newsagent. So I grabbed a pen and a Cornetto (more on that later) and paid some rediculous price that made me curse my horrible scatter brain and left to attend the workshop. I arrived a good 10 minutes early and so I killed some time playing Pokemon. Some of my lecturers from other classes popped in and out of the room to grab textbooks, all the while trying not to look like my unexplained presence in the room was making them feel uneasy. So I waited. And waited. I checked the time and it soon became apparent that the workshop wasn't on and I was the only one who hadn't gotten the menu. The first thought that came to mind was "Fuck! I just bought a pen too." My second thought was how pathetic my first thought was. So I packed my stuff and left the room and I have to tell you there is nothing like the feeling of embarrasment you get as you shamefully slip out of an classroom you have been seen loitering in for a good 15 mins by people who have the power to fail you.
Now back to my Cornetto tale. Just let me qualify by saying "I fucking love Cornetto's". After many years of indiscriminantly eating icecreams of all sorts it's one of few left standing that I can still get excited about. It's the chocolate, the cone, the nuts, the complete lack of any boring bits the whole way down. Or so I thought. Street's have long claimed that Cornetto's have "no boring bits" because the chocolate and nuts are not just toppings but also make up a sort of confectionary spine that runs the whole way down the cone. But I have managed to isolate a sizable area in the icecream that I think qualifies as boring and it occurs between the aforementioned spine and the topping layer above the surface. It's not much, but it's there and it consists of about a mouthful of just the icecream. This area has been noticably present on the past three occassions in which I've dinned on a Cornetto. But who gives a fuck? I personally I still love Cornetto's and only really mention this as it is the sort of casual, brown-cardigan-wearing rubbish that my fellow "bloggers" tend to dribble on about as they try desperately to make a real human connection across this bleak void of ones and zeros. The rest of my day consisted of dinner and procrastination. So there we have it. That was my attempt at a "real blog". Don't complain, it's not like you pay me for this shit anyway. Besides we all know that in a weeks time I'll be back with a movie I hate and a short list of words I can substitute for "shit."
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