It seems that for once in my life I am able to talk about something cutting edge in my blog. It's not every day a new TV channel is launched and what with it being a channel that revolves entirely around children and tweens I figured I'd be crazy not to sink my cynical fangs into the soft, supple target that is ABC 3. So last Friday I sat down in front of the TV and watched The Countdown to ABC 3.
Ok, so the countdown was actually on ABC HD but it had the same hosts and shit and it played out like a massive ad for the channel so I figured that it was a good place to start. Speaking of the hosts, you know how I'm constantly accusing children's television hosts of being dumbed down goofballs who unconvincingly act excited and enthusiastic but really when you look into their eyes you can see that they are devoid of all humanity? Well consider my hypothesis once again officially supported because these hosts met every single aspect of my low expectations with open arms. You may detect a hint of extra bitterness as I speak of the hosts because my friend sent in an hilarious audition video for the job and he would have been a thousand times the host that they are. I considered entering also but abandoned all hope after seeing my friends video because I knew that as long as his was so much better than mine I would not get the job. For neither of us to get it and instead have these souless clowns grinning obnoxiously in the faces of all the children from accross Australia just doesn't feel right. Stupid mankind has failed me once again.
Anyway so apart from the hosts tossing about there was a buttload of promotions for the new shows, there were interviews with hosts and actors FROM the new shows, trailors for the new shows and basically just a bunch of dicking around. There was this utterly redundant running gag about this reporter guy looking for the remote to switch the new channel on. Luckily the Prime Minister of Australia Kevin Rudd happened to pick it up on the way in. That's right, the PM was the very last special guest on the countdown. It was kinda weird to watch really. About 5 minutes in he stopped being the father of our nation and turned more into the embodiment of everybody's daggy dad. In a strange way I liked it, it actually humanised the man watching him trying to be hip to all these new shows and the like. I also thought to myself "I'm so glad my dad is not the Prime Minister."
So anyway then the channel was turned on and the hosts started gabbing on some more and began to promote the show they were about to run. Let me come clean with you at this point in case I haven't been clear on the matter, but every single show on ABC 3 was overhyped before they had even premiered. So anyway on came Prank Patrol which is basically a "Punk'd" for kids in which some kid gets to play a prank on a victim of their choice. It's a pretty solid idea let down by an abundance of padding. The most annoying aspect to the padding are the "Prank Ninja's." Just in case you weren't already COMPLETELY sick of ninja's appearing half-arsedly in practically everthing then in comes the Prank Ninja's doing nothing but add unconvincing and annoying gags to the show. Nobody in the show seems to be into the idea in the slightest, but there they are, the fucking Prank Ninja's doing useless shit and giggling like fucking chimps (no joke). I have this other friend (that's at least two that I have) who's into the whole ninja scene and I was just so glad that he wasn't there with me to witness this bastardisation. But at its core Prank Patrol has a very good thing going. You meet the kid, you get a walkthrough on the intricate details of the prank and then you see the whole thing unfold beautifully. My suggestion for improving the show would be to cut out all the unnescesary crap and have two pranks per episode rather than one.
Then on came CJ the DJ. Not much I can really say about it really. It basically consists of bright colours and voice acting that Stephen Hawking could do a better job of. By this stage I was completely worn down from all this ABC 3 buisiness and decided I needed some food and a life so I turned it off at this point. I have to say though for all the negative things I've said the channel does show promise. Just as an interesting side note the old episodes of that 90's television classic Heartbreak High will be shown on ABC 3, I have no recollections regarding the show's premise or quality but I have friends on Facebook who are excited. Does that sound convincing to anyone?
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