The Last Post Of 2008

Yes that's right folks, I'm going to be taking a short break from Infinite Possiblogities. I'm sure after Christmas and New Year I'll have many cool new toys to play with and things to bitch about. I won't be gone long, you probably won't even notice. So from Mr.B to all his loyal fans I'd just like to wish you all the best for Christmas and the remainder of 2008. Here's a picture of me looking bored and wearing that elf hat that my friend gave me with the sack of porn (anyone remember?)
Enjoy!

Goodbye Beijing

Do not fret, I'm not going to review the Closing Ceremony. What I AM going to do is ask a simple question in the hope of it being answered or at least acknowledged. There was one thing missing these games. Where the hell were Roy and HG? I was looking forward to their special occasion antics. Roy and HG have had a show going for every major sporting event since the Sydney 2000 Olympics all those years ago. Ok, that's one complaint down but I've got more. Channel Seven should be fucking banned from broadcasting the Olympics. They are absolute RUBBISH at it. It's not just their moronic commentary; viewers are subjected to barrages of shitty montages and ads for the shows that will be coming on after the Olympics. Fuck you Seven Network. You had actual events to broadcast. E-fucking-vents. That's what you paid millions to broadcast you chimps. I recall watching a whole event get cut down to just the winning performance. My whole family was outraged. There need to be fucking standards when dishing out Olympics Broadcasting Rights, 5 sacks with dollar signs on them and blowjobs aren't going to cut it anymore. Remember the world complaining that China didn't meet the human rights standards necessary to host the Olympics? Well I think there should be rules for broadcasters aswell. Rules that must be obeyed, for the punishment shall be based around sackwhacking and sevre nipple twisting. I really hope the IOC is listening.

Olympic Opening Ceremony

For me the Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremony achieved two things. China celebrated its ancient, colourful history rich in tradition and its polluted, secretive, communist present whilst Channel Seven continued its rich tradition of having completely shit commentary. I mean really, do we need someone to tell us there are "Tai Chi performers, on the floor" when they are in plain sight? Just to get all my broadcaster bitchings out of the way quickly I'd also like to point out how sudden and jarring the transitions into the ad-breaks were. One moment you were watching a softly lit, beautifully orchestrated metaphor for something or rather and in the blink of an eye a loud and brash ad for some garbage TV show is thrust into all of your relaxed senses. So let's just say "fuck you" to Channel Seven and move onto the actual event.





The BOOC was for the most part spectacular; featuring wonderful costumes, performances and that intricate attention to detail that you associate with Chinese design. Because the whole event ran for well over 4 hours I'm going to briefly outline some of the acts. There was:

• A giant scroll that dancers wrote on


• A handful of the most rigidly disciplined soldiers the human race has ever produced


• A Chinese Astronaut


• A Tai-chi light show


• Chinese ravers wearing flouro yellow bodysuits wrapped in Christmas lights


• A more innocent, tolerable and Chinese Niki Webster


• An excruciatingly slow moving duet


• Bagpipes playing Scotland the Brave...for some reason


• A ring of attractive, young, cheerleaderesque girls who were forced to jump, wave and dance about enthusiastically whilst the athletes from every single competing country marched out (plus they were wearing high-heeled cowboy boots...sucks to be them)

• And a giant, cooler version of the round lightshade I have in my bedroom (see the picture above)

Olympic Opening Ceremonies do have a tendancy to drag on a fair bit and the Beijing attempt was no acception. Watching every single competing nation walk a lap of the stadium is probably the largest contributing factor. By this time in the evening you'd be forgiven for forgetting that the Olympics is a sports thing. To be honest though, I enjoyed practically everything else. I think that's about all I have to say. The torch lighting was pretty cool aswell; it seemed to be a symbol of their creation of fireworks (which also played a large part in the celebrations).

I promise that tomorrows post will be funnier...maybe...