Daria - Review and Rant

Appologies once again for the recent inactivity on my blog. My uni exams are creeping up closer everyday and I fear having to repeat Geology (shudder). Anyway I'm taking a well earned break and I decided to review Daria.

Before moving away to do bigger and better things my good friend Lucy was generous enough to burn me dvd's with all the episodes of Daria on it (including the movies). So first I'd just like to publically thank Lucy for giving me such a wonderful gift (even though I'm certain she doesn't read my blogs anymore). Anyway so Daria is a cartoon series that MTV ran in the 90's as a spin off series to Bevis and Butthead. Daria is one of those curious shows that truely divides people in two. It's like avocado or anchovies. You either think it's the one of the greatest and most beautiful things in existance and it makes your life worth living or you think it is disgusting filth that you have nothing but absolute contempt for. I fall into the first group. I loved this show as a young adolescent and having come back to it I am able to appreciate it on much more complex levels than I ever could as a noobish child.

For those who've never seen Daria it's a show about a teenager called Daria and her life at school as she deals with a slightly disfunctional family, moronic and shallow peers and corrupted and downright mental teachers. Accompanying her through all this is her best friend Jane Lane and the dry and sarcastic witicism the two frequently exchange. It sounds like nothing much and many people have called it just that but really there's a complex soul to the show that makes it one of the most believable depictions of highschool life on the TV. Well developed characters and some truely sharp writing have helped to make this show shine. That and its soundtrack is brimming with 90's alternative music and the like. It's pretty much got it all really. There were times where I laughed so hard and times that I really felt a warm and fuzzy connection with the characters. Especially in the later episodes Daria herself comes across as a very sympathetic character. There's a touch of heart amoungst the black humour and satire that is capable of making you feel for the characters. Now after all that the show does have a few niggles. There is the odd episode in which the writers find themselves straying a little too far from home and into some very rough patches indeed. I found the musical episode to be particularly discomforting. But on the whole the show is pretty rock solid and deserves to be checked out, even if you don't end up liking it.

Now onto one other gripe I have that's not so much with the show itself as it is with the whole fucking world. I watched every episode of this show on windows media player in avi format that had been transferred from VHS at some point. It wasn't exactly a blu-ray type experience. Now the reason I had to do this is because Daria is one of those shows that has proven itself rather difficult to get released as a DVD set. There are many horrible legal and buisiness-like reasons for this such as all the copyrighted music it uses and shit like that and I gotta say it's fucked up. Here we have a fucking work of art and people can't even fucking buy the show because the world is a fucking red tape, greedy-ass, capitolist wasteland full of people who would rather squeeze every penny than contribute anything to better the world.

So just to sum up the general thrust of this here review. Daria is a brilliantly realised and executed show that never quite got the recognition it deserved and the human race is shit for both failing to recognise it's magnificance and holding it back from a DVD release with all sorts of greedy legal bullshit.

Based on Books Part 2

Ok so now it's time to slice Jane and the Dragon up and examine it under a microscope. I must say that after Gerald McBoing Boing just about anything would look good. But really though, Jane and the Dragon can certainly hold it's own and really is actually a pretty decent show indeed. One of it's most impressive features is it's imaculate design. The show is animated using CGI but it's also made to look hand drawn. This sounds a little artsy and weak in words but seeing the product is something else altogether. The animation and design is BEAUTIFUL and that's not a description I throw around alot. It's oozes with vibrant colours and even though it looks handrawn it feels very much alive. This aspect of the show alone is enough to carry it along. My mother has actually commented on this aswell, albeit only saying "this show looks really nice" but really my mother doesn't like to go into the elaborate detail that I do. Compare that to what she has said in the past about Gerald McBoing Boing, "this show's quite strange", and you can appreciate the difference between the two.


Anyway onto the plot turf. Storywise Jane in the Dragon is less unique. An opening theme song reveals that Jane became a knight in training, despite the mocking laughs and jeers of sexist friends, after rescuing the Prince from a dragon. Perhaps demonstrating an issue with having female knights and confirming the doubts of her friends by, instead of killing the dragon, befriending it. Hault! Do not start typing that comment about how woman SHOULD be knights and how making friends is better than killing people. It's not really that I disagree with either of those things but really, this is the freaking 9th century we're talking about here. You can't just befriend everybody if you're a knight for fucksake I mean you'd have to win over freaking armies who speak other languages. Speaking of language the dragon is a wise-cracking english speaking carefree character who often finds himself in miscommunication with Jane. The running themes are ones about loyalty, friendship and trust (ie what every childrens show bleets on about these days). But really though this is just nitpicking. The show has a decent story with a variety of characters who are all as well defined as they are aesthetically pleasing all plonked in the most vibrant medieval world ever created (forget fucking Oblivion, this looks better!). But does it pass the test of greatness? Is this the kind of show that people will fondly remember from their childhoods. To be honest I don't know. I know for a fact that there are a couple of shows that people I know can remember that, on reflection, I'm not all that fussed about. This is certainly a great show and definately deserves adoration. But I have no faith in humanity regarding taste. Nobody seems into pleasant surprises anymore. In the gaming world, as an annoying example, people mindlessly lap up sequels and totally ignore exciting, creative new titles that challenge you simple desire to shoot soldiers from outer space. So don't come whining to me when the world is grey and people live in steel cubicals forgetting how to show any sort of emotion at all because it was your own damn fault for not reading my blog. Now where was I? Oh yes, Jane and the Dragon = Thumbs Up, Gerald McBoing Boing = Vomit.

Based on Books Part 1

I'm sort of "in between" posts at the moment and so I thought I'd just spontaneously write this little semi-review-esqu-thing to tide over readers. The idea for todays post came to me whilst watching afternoon television. At first I thought I'd do the usual casting of scorn but I felt that given the softness of the target and the familiarity my readers and I will both be feeling I instead decided to review 2 childrens television programs comparitively to show that I can actually find good in some of these things (and to validate my previous crusifictions). Oh, and I chose the title because both tv series are based on books, just to hurridly clear that up. Anyway, FORWARD MARCH!

Gerald McBoing Boing is an extremely irritating childrens show who's highly celebrated protagonist (although I'd argue that he's really more an antagonist from the point of view of someone with an actual brain) who decides he can get by quite well through life never actually speaking, but instead electing to make noises. Sure, they're accurate SFX type noises, but it's still very annoying quite frankly. I mean what the hell is wrong with speaking? It's refined, elegant and communicates much more accurately than saying "boing boing." I mean we can assume that he actually CAN speak, he can make every other noise so why not words? There are often segments in the show that play out a bit like a SFX game of charades. It's like those episodes of Lassie that nobody has actually even seen but are nonetheless completely familiar with due to heavy spoofing. I kinda bogged that sentence down...but I'm sure you know the one I mean?

Parent/Policeman: Lassie! What is it boy?
Lassie: 'arf 'arf pant pant pant
Parent/Policeman: (said rather stupidly) you've got...FLEAS!?!
Lassie puts paws over his eyes and groans

Why don't Gerald's parents enforce some sort of restraint and, dare I even suggest it, actually parent this renegade monster. The show even has an annoying, fast delivery, in-your-face style in which several scenarios and skits play themselves out. I particularly loathe the ones in which Gerald is the hero who saves the day with universal praise with the aid of his "talents." I'm also disappointed to report that this show is based on a book by none other than the great Dr. Seuss. I've never actually read the book, so I can't really ascertain whether the show is horribly faithful or a repulsive bastardisation. At this stage you might be asking yourselves whether I'm being a little harsh on the show, it is afterall aimed at kids. Well let me tell you this. The mark of a truely great childrens television show is one that can be appreciated by an older audience. It's the kind of show you will actually reminisce about with friends when you're 16 and older. I can't imagine this show will be one of them. Just as a last point of interest I found a lame "parents group" on the internet (insert the sound of me wretching) that approved this show. It passes on the grounds that it contains no nudity, violence or swearing. Let me just compare the possible outcomes of a child exposed to these things.

• Nudity - Well not much really. Nudity and sex aren't really all that harmful for children, especially not as much as people make it out to be. People are just affraid their child will embarress them at the church bake sale or make them answer awkward questions about "daddy hurting mummy"
• Violence - I dunno I guess the kid won't sleep right for a bit...but they WILL have some pretty awesome bragging rights at school
• Swearing - Again, embarrasment is the main factor here. When a child swears around adults there's always an awkward shifting of eyes as potential "corruptors" non-verbally pass the blame around the room and always agree it must either be the TV or school.
• A Show About How Cool It Is To Make Noise - You will end up will an annoying child who makes noises and laughs at them thinking he's fucking awesome until you're inches away from murdering him or dropping him off at the nearest sex offenders house until your spouse catches you in the act and you burst into tears declaring yourself a "monster" until you both conclude that it is infact your child who is the real monster. I'd better stop here otherwise I'll end up writing the most horrible fake biography in existence.

Stay tuned for part 2 when I review Jane and the Dragon and compare it favouribly to Gerald McBoing Boing.

Join Me and Improve Television

As some of my earlier reviews may have suggested I'm not a huge fan of most TV shows. TV is a horribly predictable creature; only rarely able to learn an exciting new trick and then unashamedly thrashing the colourful new element until it turns the same putrid brown as everything else on the moron box. Television is dying a slow death and is pulling out the cheapest tricks in the book to try and claw back fans that have turned to the internet or DVD boxsets. But while I'm watching the TV networks groan and writhe about in agony with a malicious grin on my face I wouldn't mind seeing something good on it for a change. That's about all I want in my introduction so let's just cut to the chase. It being Thursday and all I watched Zero Punctuation this morning and was told that the pilot for GameDamage was up and on the internet. GameDamage is a show by Yahtzee, Yug and Matt and seems to be something of a Topgear for gamers. The eventual plan is to hopefully get a TV network to pick up the show and pay the lads to make a series out of it and I for one would be very happy to see this happen. I don't know exactly what we, the little people, can do to make the show a reality (I'm blogging and that's about it I guess) but just on the offchance that any of my readers own a large multinational corporation in great need of sponsorship I suggest you check out the pilot and take it from there. Anyone who's interested (probably none of you ungrateful bastards) should click this link here. Oh and Keep checking up on Infinite Possiblogities. I promise I'll start bullying shit again soon.

In the Dead of Night

As I have made mention of in previous posts I am unemployed and as an unemployed bum it is my duty to be awake at 1 or 2am every night. Sometimes I'll be playing through a game that I love more than food and showering and other times I'll be watching some late night TV. Now late night TV, as we all know I'm sure, can be a mixed bag. The mixed bag in this case is 90% soft core mobile phone porn, religious broadcasts and infomercials. The other 10% is what I consider to be a watchable television program. Anyway though lets just backtrack a little to talk about those fucking mobile ads. You know the ones right? "Free Adult Babe Videos" and what-have-you when all you want is to watch the rest of Flight of the Concords. Who actually buys this shit? If I wanted porn I'm quite capable of finding it for free on the net, my computer's also got a bigger and better screen than any mobile phone I've ever seen. I can just imagine the kind of seedy insomniacs who would subscribe to this shit, laying on the couch in front of the TV squinting at the boobies on their mobile screen. But then another thought struck me. As I mentioned earlier in the post I am unemployed and I'm pretty sure that the majority of people who are watching TV at this hour are in a similar situation. Somehow I can't see very many people with no incomes paying $4 (or whatever) for a girl in her underpants moaning and writhing around on her bed in a way that, to me, says "seizure" more than "orgasm." But whatever, I guess I don't really care who buys this shit. After all it's just some shitty mobile club designed to wring money out of unwary saps. So next time you're up late and all alone do yourself a favour, instead of paying a rediculous amount on money just go to the internet. Here's two sites for you that should help get you started (incase you're an idiot you probably shouldn't view these at work)

www.pichunter.com

www.youporn.com

One Part Scorn and Two Parts Love

If you happen to be one of the people unfortunate enough to be constantly exposed to me you will probably have noticed I'm pretty lazy when it comes to shaving. Of course growing facial hair has been a recent trend amounst my friends so maybe you haven't. The truth is though I hate shaving. Standing shirtless in your bathroom dragging a razor across your face whilst water turns cold on your body is not a pleasant experience. But the real unpleasantness will set in about a day later when your beard has rounded up more troops and gone on the offensive, causing an infuriating itch and giving you an unsightly rash. Scratching all the time can be a particularly good way to become less actractive and taken less seriously but on the other hand I'm not the kind of guy who can grow an awesome beard either and eventually the beard itches anyway; thus resulting in a lose - lose situation in which I just wish I could lurk in the middle somewhere avoiding the worst of both extremes.

Anyway because I've only just realised how short the post will be if it is exclusively on the topic of shaving I have decided it is time at long last for me to publically praise Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. It is pretty much my favourite TV series. It is intelligent, philosophical and it warrents repeated viewing so that you can completely get your head around what it is they're suggesting. It makes you think and when you finally start to get it it makes you feel smart. All very good points. Unfortunately there ARE 2 things I dislike about it. One minor niggle is that the second season in named Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd Gig which is punishing to say in a sentence. It is perhaps lucky that people who watch alot of Sci-fi anime don't really have friends and so therefor aren't burdened with the task of having to pronounce the title out loud. That of course is a minor issue in the face of the larger one. There are these unnescessarily annoying AI characters that frequently adulterate this perfect series with their chirpy, child-like voices. The other characters seem completely oblivious to the overexcited nature of these AI units and actually *groan* grow attached to them. In one of the episodes it is actually revealed that these AI characters can actually willfully change their voices, making me question just how intelligent these AI's really are if their opting for the most horridly grating voices possible. I know I've probably made this show sound really aweful at this point, choosing to focus on the negatives but the way I figured it would be easier to say "it's perfect appart from this one little thing" than say "here is a long and thorough list of why GITS:SAC is awesome." Also, I'd like to add, on the off-chance that someone will actually listen and attempt to watch this show, that the series is a little slow to start. By the third episode it should be in full swing though.

A TV Sunday

On Sunday when I crawled out of bed I was in no condition to do anything other than lay on the lounge and watch TV. It was horrible Sunday TV so you can imagine the state I was in. Anyway I clicked around for a while and ended up watching the latter half of some rigidly formulaic movie starring Chevy Chase (how could you?) and some stupid 90's kid. The cool thing about it was the Indian version of the Scouts that all the characters took part in. There were many horrid stereotypes popular of the 90's movie perid such as the incompotent "baddies," the "trying his best" stepdad and the "you're not my father," plotting stepson. Something I found amusingly uninformed was when the kids started talking about gaming (*groan* go my readers). I guess it was the 90's and the internet was just a series of strange noises so the writers could be forgiven for not being able to look up "popular games" on the internet. So when the kids talk about "Super Evil Martian Zapper 3000" (or whatever they supposed was an accurate game title) I had to smile at the poor old writers who were just trying to make the kid seem cool.

Anyway next up was this show called something along the lines of Hunters Hunted. It's one of those "increadable survival", reinacted thingies that always feature the most raspy, American voice overs. Seriously this guy sounded like he had only just been hunted himself and he decided to do the voice over from his hospital bed. Why do they have to TRY so damn hard to wring all the drama out of these stories as humanly possible? It's over dramatisation to the extreme. To the max. Pushin' it to the EDGE! Sorry about that. Anyway it was a bit shitty.

Then in an attempt to avoid whatever came on this channel next (can't remember, but it was less appealing than Hunters Hunted, which is saying something) I flipped over and ended up watching a show called Weighing In (or the Weigh In or something) which was pretty entertaining. It was one of those shows where you either laugh at or feel sorry for (don't kid yourselves) fat kids struggling to stop eating. I mean seriously the interviewer asked the kids what their favourite foods were, somewhat mocking their plight. This was the best thing I watched all day. There was this hilarious boy of middle eastern background who said the funniest stuff. Quoting him just can't do him justice because his delivery was spot on. I want to watch it again, but I can't see it in this weeks The Guide (+ Icon). Anyway it was about 4pm at this stage and I finally felt up to eating something and getting changed out of my PJ's. The End.

News Just In!

Just this minute watched another episode of Growing Up Creepie. I changed my mind...it sucks.

A Look Back on The Games

No, it's not what you're thinking. I'm not going to rant on and on about Beijing until the opening cermony in London. But seeing as how we're already in the Olympic spirit I want to look back on The Games. It was an ABC mockumentary that aired in the leadup to the Sydney 2000 Olympics. Anybody remember it? If you don't there's no reason to panic, I'm here to enlighten you. First up I'm gonna just come clean and say

"The Games is my all time favourite Australian comedy"

- Mr.B

You can sure as hell quote me on that. Hell, you can insult people on my behalf who say anything to the contrary. You could name other Aussie comedies all day longs if you like but I'll say the same thing every time. The Games is better. If that's not a recommendation then I don't know what is. I actually sorta don't want to talk about it too much because if anything that will make you less inclined to watch it. So let me just toss a few facts your way.

1. 
   
   If you like Frontline or The Hollowmen, you should watch it


2. 
   
   If you're a fan of Gina Riley from Kath and Kim, you should watch it


3. 
   
   If you even mildly enjoy John Clarke and Brian Dawe do their comedy interviews on the 7:30 report, you should watch it


4. 
   
   Mockumentaries? Watch it


5. 
   
   Olympic Scandal? Watch it


6. 
   
   Political Sceptic? Watch it


7. 
   
   Watch it? WATCH IT!

Spending Up Creepie

Of all the subcultures in the world these days I've always thought that goth was one of the pricier ones to be a part of. With all the piercings, makeup and a cows worth of leather in their outfit just looking goth is hard on the wallet and you haven't even bought any Cradle of Filth albums yet. It appears that I'm not the only one to realise this; there's alot of gothic-style brands and merchandise these days (Emily the Strange anyone?). The idea behind this seems to be that companies can take a kid who rubs the jocks the wrong way and helps them to embrace their less-than-sunny disposition by selling them products that make them feel a part of something. To maximise the number of people buying freaky contact lenses the companies realise that they need to make goth both mainstream and cool. Goth-style in kids entertainment is one way to do this. Here's where Growing Up Creepie comes in.

It's been a while since I've posted about a show on Rollercoaster, the last one was Zoey 101 which coincidently comes on just after Growing Up Creepie. GUC treads a fine line between being Goth and being 9 year old friendly. Creepie lives in a brooding mansion with her insect family (no seriously, her mother's a praying mantis); she wears alot of makeup, has multi coloured streaks in her hair and has one eyebrow permanently raised. There's no denying she's goth influenced but by making her a hero and giving her a diverse posse takes the edge away just a little and makes her accessable to kids. Another thing they do in these shows is make everybody else a misinformed moron. This is probably what I find most annoying about these shows. I'm all for goths but when they start heading in the "superior outcast" direction (quoting my friends there, can't remember who said it first though) I find it a little tiresome. In some ways I found GUC to be like a pre-teen Daria. I'm a huge fan of Daria and so this may sound like a compliment, but GUC has no elements of satire or social understanding. In the end though I don't think GUC is that bad, I'm fairly indifferent actually. Kinda makes for a lackluster post huh? Well that's too bad 'coz I've already written it and I'm not writing another one. But hey, at least you've learnt that goths and inects are related.

PS. I promise I'll be funny again one of these days...

Olympic Opening Ceremony

For me the Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremony achieved two things. China celebrated its ancient, colourful history rich in tradition and its polluted, secretive, communist present whilst Channel Seven continued its rich tradition of having completely shit commentary. I mean really, do we need someone to tell us there are "Tai Chi performers, on the floor" when they are in plain sight? Just to get all my broadcaster bitchings out of the way quickly I'd also like to point out how sudden and jarring the transitions into the ad-breaks were. One moment you were watching a softly lit, beautifully orchestrated metaphor for something or rather and in the blink of an eye a loud and brash ad for some garbage TV show is thrust into all of your relaxed senses. So let's just say "fuck you" to Channel Seven and move onto the actual event.





The BOOC was for the most part spectacular; featuring wonderful costumes, performances and that intricate attention to detail that you associate with Chinese design. Because the whole event ran for well over 4 hours I'm going to briefly outline some of the acts. There was:

• A giant scroll that dancers wrote on


• A handful of the most rigidly disciplined soldiers the human race has ever produced


• A Chinese Astronaut


• A Tai-chi light show


• Chinese ravers wearing flouro yellow bodysuits wrapped in Christmas lights


• A more innocent, tolerable and Chinese Niki Webster


• An excruciatingly slow moving duet


• Bagpipes playing Scotland the Brave...for some reason


• A ring of attractive, young, cheerleaderesque girls who were forced to jump, wave and dance about enthusiastically whilst the athletes from every single competing country marched out (plus they were wearing high-heeled cowboy boots...sucks to be them)

• And a giant, cooler version of the round lightshade I have in my bedroom (see the picture above)

Olympic Opening Ceremonies do have a tendancy to drag on a fair bit and the Beijing attempt was no acception. Watching every single competing nation walk a lap of the stadium is probably the largest contributing factor. By this time in the evening you'd be forgiven for forgetting that the Olympics is a sports thing. To be honest though, I enjoyed practically everything else. I think that's about all I have to say. The torch lighting was pretty cool aswell; it seemed to be a symbol of their creation of fireworks (which also played a large part in the celebrations).

I promise that tomorrows post will be funnier...maybe...

The Vanishing Cheez

Is it just me or is the lobotomized, bleached blond, surfer demographic severely over-represented in today's kids shows? What the hell happened to quality TV show hosts? What ever happened to Cheez TV? I used to love that show. Not only did it make school mornings bearable it was aslo the source of many quality Kids shows like Sailor Moon and Pokemon. Not only that but the hosts were actually entertaining and a pleasure to watch. But the show and the hosts were one day simply gone. Vanished. Never to be seen again. Having watched shows like The Shak and Big Arvo where the hosts fall into the characatures of The Bimbo, The Science Guy and the (groan) Crazy, Outrageous Guy; it was nice to have hosts that you could respect and admire. I never once felt that Jade or Ryan were dumbing themselves down or going for the cheap laughs. They did many parodies and even had a News Reporter character called Dick Wad. Fuck that's ballsy. You may wonder why I even care what's on in the mornings given that I no longer go to school and therefore don't often rise from my slumber before lunchtime; but really it's not about me. It's the new generation that misses out. I'll always have my fond memories and all the kids of today get are crappy old Toasted TV with Pip (The bubbley chick) and Dan (the...*shudder*...Crazy, Outrageous Guy). So while the Cheezoid generation grows up and moves on the sun sets on possibly the last good kids TV show and hosts. So I'd like to raise my glass in a toast to the memories of Cheez TV; the show that never tried too hard to grab our attention, but managed to anyway.