Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Watchmen Review


Before I get into the serious review stuff I'd just like to congratulate Tom on his speedy response to my previous post. Elija Wood shall be yours my friend.


Moving on now, the Watchmen. The Watchmen is about a group of vigilante style "superheroes" who are outlawed by the American Government and forced to live out their lives as regular human beings, which you'd think to be relatively easy to do because all of them, bar one, ARE regular human beings. Anyway the year is 1980-something and the doomsday clock is ticking out it's last 10 minutes or so as America aniticipate the onset of nuclear war with Russia. I won't dig too much farther into the extremely involved story because we've got bigger things to discuss. Now overall I liked the Watchmen. I went in expecting a shitty, no-brainer superhero action flick of the Daredevil ilk but instead was treated to one of the grittiest and most tense films I've seen since The Dark Knight. Every one of the heroes is a well developed character with their own flaws and problems to resolve. As heroes they are all morally questionable in some way and as such you're left with a sense of deep running emptiness as you watch these vigilante heroes ruin innocent lives. You can forget about calling Spiderman a conflicted character because he can't balance his real life with his superhero life. Try watching a man who can't bear to be without his mask as he clashes violently with anyone who ticks him off. The effective thing about having such flawed main characters is that not only do you characterise them more strongly but you also end up connecting emotionally with the people they wrong along the way, the everday people.


Having said all that the movie is gritty, heavy and dark to the extreme. I wouldn't recommend it to just anyone, you need to be prepared for it. It's like trying to digest a really good meal without chewing it properly, it's a movie that'll sit heavy in your brain for a good while after watching it. That and it's graphic. There's reasonably explicit sex and some extremely visual violence. If you don't want to see a man have his skull cleavered repeatedly then don't watch this. I thought the soundtrack was pretty solid though, even if it was also unsubtle. I was thankfull that the movie wasn't trying to ram some no-name bands new single down my earhole and instead went with proven rock classics like Bob Dylan, Simon and Garfunkel and Jimi Hendrix.


My last issue with the film is that the movie feels as long as it is, which is very. I'm conflicted as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing because on the one hand I didn't feel like there was an abundance of unnescessary bits , in fact there were moments were you got a sense of having missed something. On the other hand it can't be good if I check my watch and say to myself, "it felt much longer than that." The movie is based off a graphic novel of the same name written in the 80's and had quite a bit to fit in and coming from a person who hadn't read the novel I found it coherent and enjoyable, so perhaps the length issue was an inevitable necessity. Every main character has his own tale to tell in the movie and they're all given a fair hunk of time to work with, so I guess that's a good thing. Overall however I find Watchment a hard movie to review. It does so many things really well and does so many new things with the overly formulaic "superhero" genre that I'm tempted to call it a must see. Unfortunately the gritty and violent nature of the film makes it unsettling and will probably alienate certain people. It's a powerful film that challenges the superhero ideology and the black and white nature of the superhero genre, but it's also likely to divide audiences.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Are YOU Prepared?



Went to the cinema last night with my friends to see The Watchmen. I'll probably end up talking about The Watchmen in a future post but for now we're focusing on the previews. There was a particularly lame trend in the movie previews and it wasn't just the "coming this summer" husky voiced American douchebag doing all the voiceovers. It was the fact that every single movie was a disaster movie (except maybe one more "thriller" style movie about taking a subway hostage or some shit but it's pretty similar really). But seriously it was freaking rediculous. The third trailer started with school children joyously opening a school time capsule and I jokingly said to my friend "and now everybody will die" and as if cued by my words the trailors tone shifted and mass deaths were being alluded to all over the place. Apparently what has been unleashed upon the world is a lack of creativity. Maybe they should base a disaster movie on me wherein my wry, hilarious jokes somehow come true in devastating ways. In fact to save Hollywood from its apparent "good ideas" drought I thought I'd sketch up a rough outline of my movie.

I would obviously have to be played by someone as funny and devilishly charasmatic as my good self. Will Smith would be my suggestion. Now I would go about my daily life making the wise-cracks that have made me the popular lad I am today and then I'd go home to watch the evening news where it would turn out my witissism was, in fact, bang on the money. At first my closest friends and I would shrug it off as coincidence but then it would become apparent that my jokes were capable of altering the future in frightening ways. Then there'd be some soul searching, a romance would develope somewhere, chuck in a car chase. In the end the remainder of humanity turns against me but in some stirring final scenes the crowd are convinced that a world without me would be an even bleaker one. I've even got a trailer scripted.

Voice over - Coming this summer...
Me - ...and then I told him his haircut looked like shit
My Friends - hahahahaha
Voice over - ...a man must choose...
Some Old Guy - You know one of these days your joking around is going to land you in trouble
Voice over - ...between the world he loves...
Evening News - Local boy ran into trouble today when a sewage pipe burst next to him today, drenching him in feces.
My Friend - hey, wasn't that the guy you were joking about?
Voice over - ...and his humour
Me - The things I've been joking about...they're coming true
Friend - (yelling) I don't think I find you so funny anymore!
Another Friend - Why don't you just joke about something good?
(car chase scene)
(Fireball through a tunnel)
(A makeout/mild sex scene)
Me and Friend (looking at each other) - nah

(action montage then movie title)

Old Guy - The world can be a depressing place sometimes
Me - That's when we need laughter the most

(The screen with the website and shit)

I think it's going to be great. I kinda thought as a special offer to the people who know me personally you now have the opportunity to suggest actors/actresses to play youselves. Just drop a comment. Don't be shy.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Catch Up

Far out I've been shit to my blog the past week. If I.P. was my child then I'm pretty sure a concerned neighbour would have dobbed me in to the cops by now and my face would be all over the evening news. The truth of the matter is that the past week has been a fairly full one. Now because I'm fairly sure that the whole point of blogging is to inflict the tales of your own exciting (or boring) lives upon the public I feel that I should give a bit of a rundown on what I've been up to the past week.

Monday was one of the few days this week where I actually DID blog. After giving Femalien the thumbs down I played Super Paper Mario for a considerable hunk of the day. At some point later on in the evening My friends, brothers, girlfriend (just for the record I'm not one of those guys who calls his girlfriend "My Girlfriend" all the time like it's her name, I'm just not down with giving out names on my blog) and I went to the local art gallery to see the Year 12 Major Works Exhibition. Art, Dance, Music and Drama students all showed off their hard work and took comfort in the knowledge that at least one (maybe two or three for some students) large part of the HSC was over.

Tuesday I was feeling pretty guilty about the fact that I hadn't been doing any TAFE work the previous day. So what did I do? Well I went on a picnic with a few of my friends and had a jolly old time at the park until the weather turned against us. I then declined an offer to go to the movies because of that aweful feeling of falling behind I had got from ignoring TAFE the past couple of days.

Wednesday I did TAFE until about 7pm when I met up with a few of my friends to go see Cog live. I enjoyed the show immensly. I liked how close I could easily get to the band because of the smallish venue. Saw some sus chick whoring it up with two different guys and we got rubbish hurled at us for dissing on Disturbed. An awesome night out I'd say.

Thursday I woke up at the GF's house and looked after her for a while because she was unwell. When I got home I immediately went to The Escapist to watch the new Zero Punctuation video (did anyone follow that link when I posted about him? You can tell me he's shit if you like, I won't get offended). Played some Fable and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. Oh and I also posted that day, vowing never to miss a day of posting again.

Friday I didn't post again. Did a few Beardy's with some friends. Visited sick GF. Had dinner. Had a humiliating game of pool in an unfamiliar pool environment (our usual pick of the pubs for pool was having a filthy function and as a result excluded us fron the pool tables). Feeling ashamed we went to a friends house and watched 10 Items or Less for a little bit. Then I went home, woke up, ate breakfast, made myself a pretty bad coffee and wrote this boring post. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A TV Sunday

On Sunday when I crawled out of bed I was in no condition to do anything other than lay on the lounge and watch TV. It was horrible Sunday TV so you can imagine the state I was in. Anyway I clicked around for a while and ended up watching the latter half of some rigidly formulaic movie starring Chevy Chase (how could you?) and some stupid 90's kid. The cool thing about it was the Indian version of the Scouts that all the characters took part in. There were many horrid stereotypes popular of the 90's movie perid such as the incompotent "baddies," the "trying his best" stepdad and the "you're not my father," plotting stepson. Something I found amusingly uninformed was when the kids started talking about gaming (*groan* go my readers). I guess it was the 90's and the internet was just a series of strange noises so the writers could be forgiven for not being able to look up "popular games" on the internet. So when the kids talk about "Super Evil Martian Zapper 3000" (or whatever they supposed was an accurate game title) I had to smile at the poor old writers who were just trying to make the kid seem cool.

Anyway next up was this show called something along the lines of Hunters Hunted. It's one of those "increadable survival", reinacted thingies that always feature the most raspy, American voice overs. Seriously this guy sounded like he had only just been hunted himself and he decided to do the voice over from his hospital bed. Why do they have to TRY so damn hard to wring all the drama out of these stories as humanly possible? It's over dramatisation to the extreme. To the max. Pushin' it to the EDGE! Sorry about that. Anyway it was a bit shitty.

Then in an attempt to avoid whatever came on this channel next (can't remember, but it was less appealing than Hunters Hunted, which is saying something) I flipped over and ended up watching a show called Weighing In (or the Weigh In or something) which was pretty entertaining. It was one of those shows where you either laugh at or feel sorry for (don't kid yourselves) fat kids struggling to stop eating. I mean seriously the interviewer asked the kids what their favourite foods were, somewhat mocking their plight. This was the best thing I watched all day. There was this hilarious boy of middle eastern background who said the funniest stuff. Quoting him just can't do him justice because his delivery was spot on. I want to watch it again, but I can't see it in this weeks The Guide (+ Icon). Anyway it was about 4pm at this stage and I finally felt up to eating something and getting changed out of my PJ's. The End.

Monday, September 1, 2008

36 Crazy Fists




Before I put on my reviewer's hat I'd just like to say that the DVD coner for 36 Crazy Fists (aka The Blood Pact) is a large collection of lies. The front cover features a large and recent picture of Jackie Chan striking a cool pose. This is a lie because the film is from 1977 and does NOT star Jackie Chan. Chan does (I believe) direct it however. It's actually hard to establish what is true and what is false because the DVD cover contradicts itself and the movie in many places. But I digress.




36 Crazy Fists is a martial arts/comedy movie and features some of the worst dubbing I've ever seen. I'm sure you've heard THAT before but I'd just like to point out that there would never have been a village in ancient China where every resident had a cockney accent. But it's not just the dubbing, some of the dialogue appears to be quite poorly translated. But whatever right? It's a martial arts movie not fucking Amelie, the dialogue is hardly the point. All that matters is that it's funny and the fighting is cool. Whilst this is not the greatest martial arts movie I've ever seen it certainly delivers some decent fighting and chucks in some reasonably funny jokes. For a little while at the films beginning I was a little concerned that this would be another Princess Blade; failing to deliver on what it promises. But after about 10-15 minutes of patchy storytelling the movie picks up and the choreography kicks in. Again, it's decent but nothing you wouldn't have seen before. Perhaps the most enjoyment to be gotten here is found in the age of the film itself. It's about 30 years old, lacks visual quality, has a pretty shitty story that is only worsened by the choppy translations. These may sound like bad things but in a way it's kind of endearing. It has an oldschool charm to it. You may be underwhelmed but then you remember that this was before special effects and there is not a stunt double to be seen. In a way it's kind of hard to say what I thought of this movie. For every good point there's a bad one, but I still managed to enjoy it.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

9 Songs




I remember the first time I heard about 9 Songs. It's the only time I can recall when At the Movies with Margaret and David had a parental advisory warning before screening. You see 9 Songs was quite controversial at the time because had many scenes in it that fully displayed unsimulated sex. None of this two lumps moving around under the covers accompanied by giggles and "woohoo"ing (ala The Sims), when the characters in the movie have sex, so too do the actors. That's right kids! ACTUAL penises in ACTUAL vaginas and a camaraman who gets in so close I'm surprised the lense didn't fog up. Naturally this kinda movie must've caused all types of hassels for the Office of Film and Literature Classification. The big issue of the time was whether this movie was art or porn. This is a question that gets tossed around quite a bit and there are people who will, by default, immediately side with one or the other. At first the OFLC gave it an X rating akin to a porno flick but they revised that decision soon after and gave it an R. Now where do I stand on the issue? Personally I don't think it is porn for one important reason, I CARED about the characters. The film definately has intentions other than causing erections and starting a war between Christian Mothers Groups and Bill Henson supporters. There's a story here to be told through the sex and even though it's heavily improvised it's done magnificently. Also the movie features 9 live perfomances (hence the title) of various artists, so the music is pretty awesome aswell, even if you aren't Franz Ferdinand's biggest fan.






These "9 Songs" are:


Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Whatever Happened To My Rock And Roll"
The Von Bondies, "C'mon, C'mon"
Elbow, "Fallen Angel"


Primal Screem, "Movin' On Up"


Dandy Warhols, "You Were The Last High"
Super Furry Animals, "Slow Life"
Franz Ferdinand, "Jacqueline"
Michael Nyman, "Nadia"
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Love Burns"


PS. The movie seriously has a running time of 69 minutes. Also, I'd like to know if anyone else thinks that the guy playing the male lead in this movie looks like Niko Bellic from GTAIV (he's the one on the left).

Monday, August 18, 2008

Today on Infinite Possiblogities; Mr. B Reviews a Sack of Porn

Ahhh Monday. There's nothing like coming back from an excellent weekend with a brainload of new ideas to try out. Struggle as I did on Friday my post was sub-par to say the least (and complete shit to say the most). Anyway as luck would have it I had a moment of inspiration over this weekend. A dear old friend of mine is moving to the city. As we speak my simple country pal is headed for the "Big Smoke." Upon hearing this I feared for my friend; feared that in this dog-eat-dog world of ours my dear old friend may be chewed up and spit out by the city he hoped would make him big. Sometime before exchanging farewells I bestowed upon my firend some of the things I've learnt about showbiz. As the famous writer of a highly successful blog I felt it my duty to nurture this vulnerable sapling with the knowledge that success has brought me; hoping to help him blossom. As a token of appreciation my friend gave me an elf-hat and a sack of VHS porn. It was around this time that inspiration struck. Not only is porn a tool to aid sexual gratification but porn can also be really fucking funny. So for the benefit of all you folks out there with no desire at all to see Creme de la Face #6 I thought I'd share with you the funnier moments of porn.

Fuck that was a long intro! Anyway the first thing I found kinda strange is that alot of these tapes feel the need to add stupid, cheezy music. Why? Just because the movie is called Cum Eating Asians these people feel the need to add the clunks and twangs one asscociates with feudal Japan. I mean there are no samurai, kimono's, emperors or ninjas involved; just girls and dicks. Dialogue is another funny addition that some directors feel they need to add. These porn actors and actresses love a good chinwag (sounds kinda dirty in this context huh?). Heaps of questions and small talk. A few jokes to break the ice. What's with it? Perhaps these guys like to get to know a person before going all the way with them. Sounds reasonable, they probably don't want a rep for being "easy."

I'd also like to mention how funny Ben Dover is. Not only is he the first person to assume a prank call persona but he also has such style; rockin' a pink tank top and a hairdo like Robert Plant. Yuk, yuk, YUKKY! Good thing he spends most of the time behind the camera and not being seen. Another example of a strange dress code is the guy who is almost completely naked. The almost here being the strange bit. All he is wearing is a baseball cap. Does he feel naked without it?

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Weatherwoman


Seeing as how I'm already into the cult Japanese movie reviews I decided to turn my attention to Weatherwoman. This "wickedly funny, over-the-top farce" (quoted from the New York Times) makes movies like Scary Movie look sensible. However that comparison is probably a little unfair on Weatherwoman because, let's face it, Scary Movie is a shitty spot-the-pop-reference spoof movie whilst Weatherwoman manages the be crazy and amusing all off its own merits. Unlike The Princess Blade, Weatherwoman perfectly delivers what it promises. It says it'll be a crazy, raunchy, Japanese comedy and it pretty much cracks all the jokes whilst rubbing its crotch and crackin' the whip. But whilst The Princess Blade was a little mediocre, it's potential to appeal to a wider audience is probably greater than that of Weatherwoman. In other words, it may not be your cup of tea, but I certainly liked it enough to buy it so if anyone feels like giving it a shot you know who to holla at. The humour feels VERY Japanese. Let me just give you a run down of what kind of things this movie will treat you to:


  • A sexually empowered weatherwoman who "reinvents" weather reporting by flashing her panties during every forecast

  • A jealous rival determined to claim the position of weatherwoman and "reinvent" it in her own way

  • A pathetically wimpy, yet totally obsessed fan

  • A perverted old man (actually there's probably a fair few)

  • A lot of dominatrix style behaviour

  • A magical whip that gives you superpowers if you can endure being repeatedly whipped by it

  • Several incidents of jumping off high buildings

  • Two really horrid song and dance numbers *shudder*

  • A publically broadcast weatherwoman showdown

Seriously though, this is only really scraping the surface. There's alot of crazy shit going on in this movie. Again this is reasonalby short movie (clocking in at 85 mins) so perhaps it's worth checking out if only to get yourself some cult movie cred.



Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Princess Blade.Hot Asian Swordstress, What More Could You Want?


Well, quite alot actually.




When I finally sat down to watch The Princess Blade (conveniently taped from SBS some time ago) I was expecting a hack 'n' slash action movie with a blood and gore rating somewhere between very high and Quentin Tarantino. SBS warned me that the movie was rated MAV (meaning mature adult violence I believe) and only hightened my expectations. What I saw, however, was a movie that never seemed quite sure what it wanted to achieve. Sword fighting scenes showed alot of promise but the convoluted story cock-blocked the sword fights every time things started get a bit frisky. In the 90 minutes of movie only about 20 mins are dedicated to combat. The rest of the story is mildly interesting but clashes horribly with the story in which the fighting happens, neither one coming accross as fully fleshed out. There is, howver, some enjoyment to be had here. Sound FX and the musical score are quite pleasing. The sounds of swordfights, the clicking of a loaded gun and the sounds of footsteps on various surfaces all sound really good. I mean REALLY good. For some reason the sound FX kinda made this movie for me. In a way the combat sounds better than it looks, kinda funny that. The acting is a mixed bag, sometimes satisfying but often just bland. The lead actress who plays the brutal hottie isn't particularly good, but she does have quite a piercing gaze to go with her piercing katana. In the end it's hard to say how I feel about this movie. It's not great, it's not bad and it's also not very long. You may find it worth watching, who knows? It's underwhelming but there are certainly worse ways of spending 90mins.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Dark Knight


I woke up this morning and boy was I surprised. It seems that someone sent me an email (you know who you are) expressing their dissappointment that I chose to review Sonic Adventure 2 when I said I was going to praise something. I can't believe I'm making that big a splash. Ok so it was someone I actually knew, but I feel it's progress all the same. All I can say in my defence is this. I liked SA2. I felt it deserved more recognition and less criticism. It's my blog and I'll review what I like. That said, I would also like to smother the rumour that ALL I like in life is gaming by telling you what I thought of the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight. Now I realise that The Dark Knight has been out for a while now and has probably been blogged to death but I have to say that for once the hype is actually well founded. The Dark Knight is awesome and hands down the best movie I've seen in a very long time. Heath Ledger's performance is so superb that I actually forgot about his death. The Joker is an awesome badguy, purely in it for the chaos. The whole film is very thrilling. I'm talking "on the edge" and "auto canibalistic" kind of tension. If you haven't seen it yet stop reading here and GO NOW! This is the kind of film that warrents a cinema viewing. The only problem I have with it is that if they ever make another Batman movie it's probably not going to be able to top The Dark Knight. I could yak all day about how loved it is by me but I fear I may bore you.

Oh and just for the record both Margaret and David gave it 4 Stars...it doesn't get much better than that.