
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Watchmen Review

Sunday, March 22, 2009
Are YOU Prepared?



Went to the cinema last night with my friends to see The Watchmen. I'll probably end up talking about The Watchmen in a future post but for now we're focusing on the previews. There was a particularly lame trend in the movie previews and it wasn't just the "coming this summer" husky voiced American douchebag doing all the voiceovers. It was the fact that every single movie was a disaster movie (except maybe one more "thriller" style movie about taking a subway hostage or some shit but it's pretty similar really). But seriously it was freaking rediculous. The third trailer started with school children joyously opening a school time capsule and I jokingly said to my friend "and now everybody will die" and as if cued by my words the trailors tone shifted and mass deaths were being alluded to all over the place. Apparently what has been unleashed upon the world is a lack of creativity. Maybe they should base a disaster movie on me wherein my wry, hilarious jokes somehow come true in devastating ways. In fact to save Hollywood from its apparent "good ideas" drought I thought I'd sketch up a rough outline of my movie.
I would obviously have to be played by someone as funny and devilishly charasmatic as my good self. Will Smith would be my suggestion. Now I would go about my daily life making the wise-cracks that have made me the popular lad I am today and then I'd go home to watch the evening news where it would turn out my witissism was, in fact, bang on the money. At first my closest friends and I would shrug it off as coincidence but then it would become apparent that my jokes were capable of altering the future in frightening ways. Then there'd be some soul searching, a romance would develope somewhere, chuck in a car chase. In the end the remainder of humanity turns against me but in some stirring final scenes the crowd are convinced that a world without me would be an even bleaker one. I've even got a trailer scripted.
Voice over - Coming this summer...
Me - ...and then I told him his haircut looked like shit
My Friends - hahahahaha
Voice over - ...a man must choose...
Some Old Guy - You know one of these days your joking around is going to land you in trouble
Voice over - ...between the world he loves...
Evening News - Local boy ran into trouble today when a sewage pipe burst next to him today, drenching him in feces.
My Friend - hey, wasn't that the guy you were joking about?
Voice over - ...and his humour
Me - The things I've been joking about...they're coming true
Friend - (yelling) I don't think I find you so funny anymore!
Another Friend - Why don't you just joke about something good?
(car chase scene)
(Fireball through a tunnel)
(A makeout/mild sex scene)
Me and Friend (looking at each other) - nah
(action montage then movie title)
Old Guy - The world can be a depressing place sometimes
Me - That's when we need laughter the most
(The screen with the website and shit)
I think it's going to be great. I kinda thought as a special offer to the people who know me personally you now have the opportunity to suggest actors/actresses to play youselves. Just drop a comment. Don't be shy.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
The Catch Up
Monday was one of the few days this week where I actually DID blog. After giving Femalien the thumbs down I played Super Paper Mario for a considerable hunk of the day. At some point later on in the evening My friends, brothers, girlfriend (just for the record I'm not one of those guys who calls his girlfriend "My Girlfriend" all the time like it's her name, I'm just not down with giving out names on my blog) and I went to the local art gallery to see the Year 12 Major Works Exhibition. Art, Dance, Music and Drama students all showed off their hard work and took comfort in the knowledge that at least one (maybe two or three for some students) large part of the HSC was over.
Tuesday I was feeling pretty guilty about the fact that I hadn't been doing any TAFE work the previous day. So what did I do? Well I went on a picnic with a few of my friends and had a jolly old time at the park until the weather turned against us. I then declined an offer to go to the movies because of that aweful feeling of falling behind I had got from ignoring TAFE the past couple of days.
Wednesday I did TAFE until about 7pm when I met up with a few of my friends to go see Cog live. I enjoyed the show immensly. I liked how close I could easily get to the band because of the smallish venue. Saw some sus chick whoring it up with two different guys and we got rubbish hurled at us for dissing on Disturbed. An awesome night out I'd say.
Thursday I woke up at the GF's house and looked after her for a while because she was unwell. When I got home I immediately went to The Escapist to watch the new Zero Punctuation video (did anyone follow that link when I posted about him? You can tell me he's shit if you like, I won't get offended). Played some Fable and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. Oh and I also posted that day, vowing never to miss a day of posting again.
Friday I didn't post again. Did a few Beardy's with some friends. Visited sick GF. Had dinner. Had a humiliating game of pool in an unfamiliar pool environment (our usual pick of the pubs for pool was having a filthy function and as a result excluded us fron the pool tables). Feeling ashamed we went to a friends house and watched 10 Items or Less for a little bit. Then I went home, woke up, ate breakfast, made myself a pretty bad coffee and wrote this boring post. Enjoy.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A TV Sunday
Anyway next up was this show called something along the lines of Hunters Hunted. It's one of those "increadable survival", reinacted thingies that always feature the most raspy, American voice overs. Seriously this guy sounded like he had only just been hunted himself and he decided to do the voice over from his hospital bed. Why do they have to TRY so damn hard to wring all the drama out of these stories as humanly possible? It's over dramatisation to the extreme. To the max. Pushin' it to the EDGE! Sorry about that. Anyway it was a bit shitty.
Then in an attempt to avoid whatever came on this channel next (can't remember, but it was less appealing than Hunters Hunted, which is saying something) I flipped over and ended up watching a show called Weighing In (or the Weigh In or something) which was pretty entertaining. It was one of those shows where you either laugh at or feel sorry for (don't kid yourselves) fat kids struggling to stop eating. I mean seriously the interviewer asked the kids what their favourite foods were, somewhat mocking their plight. This was the best thing I watched all day. There was this hilarious boy of middle eastern background who said the funniest stuff. Quoting him just can't do him justice because his delivery was spot on. I want to watch it again, but I can't see it in this weeks The Guide (+ Icon). Anyway it was about 4pm at this stage and I finally felt up to eating something and getting changed out of my PJ's. The End.
Monday, September 1, 2008
36 Crazy Fists

Thursday, August 21, 2008
9 Songs

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Whatever Happened To My Rock And Roll"
The Von Bondies, "C'mon, C'mon"
Elbow, "Fallen Angel"
Primal Screem, "Movin' On Up"
Dandy Warhols, "You Were The Last High"
Super Furry Animals, "Slow Life"
Franz Ferdinand, "Jacqueline"
Michael Nyman, "Nadia"
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, "Love Burns"
PS. The movie seriously has a running time of 69 minutes. Also, I'd like to know if anyone else thinks that the guy playing the male lead in this movie looks like Niko Bellic from GTAIV (he's the one on the left).

Monday, August 18, 2008
Today on Infinite Possiblogities; Mr. B Reviews a Sack of Porn
Fuck that was a long intro! Anyway the first thing I found kinda strange is that alot of these tapes feel the need to add stupid, cheezy music. Why? Just because the movie is called Cum Eating Asians these people feel the need to add the clunks and twangs one asscociates with feudal Japan. I mean there are no samurai, kimono's, emperors or ninjas involved; just girls and dicks. Dialogue is another funny addition that some directors feel they need to add. These porn actors and actresses love a good chinwag (sounds kinda dirty in this context huh?). Heaps of questions and small talk. A few jokes to break the ice. What's with it? Perhaps these guys like to get to know a person before going all the way with them. Sounds reasonable, they probably don't want a rep for being "easy."
I'd also like to mention how funny Ben Dover is. Not only is he the first person to assume a prank call persona but he also has such style; rockin' a pink tank top and a hairdo like Robert Plant. Yuk, yuk, YUKKY! Good thing he spends most of the time behind the camera and not being seen. Another example of a strange dress code is the guy who is almost completely naked. The almost here being the strange bit. All he is wearing is a baseball cap. Does he feel naked without it?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Weatherwoman

- A sexually empowered weatherwoman who "reinvents" weather reporting by flashing her panties during every forecast
- A jealous rival determined to claim the position of weatherwoman and "reinvent" it in her own way
- A pathetically wimpy, yet totally obsessed fan
- A perverted old man (actually there's probably a fair few)
- A lot of dominatrix style behaviour
- A magical whip that gives you superpowers if you can endure being repeatedly whipped by it
- Several incidents of jumping off high buildings
- Two really horrid song and dance numbers *shudder*
- A publically broadcast weatherwoman showdown
Seriously though, this is only really scraping the surface. There's alot of crazy shit going on in this movie. Again this is reasonalby short movie (clocking in at 85 mins) so perhaps it's worth checking out if only to get yourself some cult movie cred.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
The Princess Blade.Hot Asian Swordstress, What More Could You Want?

Thursday, August 7, 2008
The Dark Knight

I woke up this morning and boy was I surprised. It seems that someone sent me an email (you know who you are) expressing their dissappointment that I chose to review Sonic Adventure 2 when I said I was going to praise something. I can't believe I'm making that big a splash. Ok so it was someone I actually knew, but I feel it's progress all the same. All I can say in my defence is this. I liked SA2. I felt it deserved more recognition and less criticism. It's my blog and I'll review what I like. That said, I would also like to smother the rumour that ALL I like in life is gaming by telling you what I thought of the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight. Now I realise that The Dark Knight has been out for a while now and has probably been blogged to death but I have to say that for once the hype is actually well founded. The Dark Knight is awesome and hands down the best movie I've seen in a very long time. Heath Ledger's performance is so superb that I actually forgot about his death. The Joker is an awesome badguy, purely in it for the chaos. The whole film is very thrilling. I'm talking "on the edge" and "auto canibalistic" kind of tension. If you haven't seen it yet stop reading here and GO NOW! This is the kind of film that warrents a cinema viewing. The only problem I have with it is that if they ever make another Batman movie it's probably not going to be able to top The Dark Knight. I could yak all day about how loved it is by me but I fear I may bore you.
Oh and just for the record both Margaret and David gave it 4 Stars...it doesn't get much better than that.