Are YOU Prepared?

Went to the cinema last night with my friends to see The Watchmen. I'll probably end up talking about The Watchmen in a future post but for now we're focusing on the previews. There was a particularly lame trend in the movie previews and it wasn't just the "coming this summer" husky voiced American douchebag doing all the voiceovers. It was the fact that every single movie was a disaster movie (except maybe one more "thriller" style movie about taking a subway hostage or some shit but it's pretty similar really). But seriously it was freaking rediculous. The third trailer started with school children joyously opening a school time capsule and I jokingly said to my friend "and now everybody will die" and as if cued by my words the trailors tone shifted and mass deaths were being alluded to all over the place. Apparently what has been unleashed upon the world is a lack of creativity. Maybe they should base a disaster movie on me wherein my wry, hilarious jokes somehow come true in devastating ways. In fact to save Hollywood from its apparent "good ideas" drought I thought I'd sketch up a rough outline of my movie.

I would obviously have to be played by someone as funny and devilishly charasmatic as my good self. Will Smith would be my suggestion. Now I would go about my daily life making the wise-cracks that have made me the popular lad I am today and then I'd go home to watch the evening news where it would turn out my witissism was, in fact, bang on the money. At first my closest friends and I would shrug it off as coincidence but then it would become apparent that my jokes were capable of altering the future in frightening ways. Then there'd be some soul searching, a romance would develope somewhere, chuck in a car chase. In the end the remainder of humanity turns against me but in some stirring final scenes the crowd are convinced that a world without me would be an even bleaker one. I've even got a trailer scripted.

Voice over - Coming this summer...
Me - ...and then I told him his haircut looked like shit
My Friends - hahahahaha
Voice over - ...a man must choose...
Some Old Guy - You know one of these days your joking around is going to land you in trouble
Voice over - ...between the world he loves...
Evening News - Local boy ran into trouble today when a sewage pipe burst next to him today, drenching him in feces.
My Friend - hey, wasn't that the guy you were joking about?
Voice over - ...and his humour
Me - The things I've been joking about...they're coming true
Friend - (yelling) I don't think I find you so funny anymore!
Another Friend - Why don't you just joke about something good?
(car chase scene)
(Fireball through a tunnel)
(A makeout/mild sex scene)
Me and Friend (looking at each other) - nah

(action montage then movie title)

Old Guy - The world can be a depressing place sometimes
Me - That's when we need laughter the most

(The screen with the website and shit)

I think it's going to be great. I kinda thought as a special offer to the people who know me personally you now have the opportunity to suggest actors/actresses to play youselves. Just drop a comment. Don't be shy.