I'll bet some of you will be glad to see the end of this review as it signifies the end of the Jeff Goldblum movie review marathon that has been going on for a while now. I decided to end with The Big Chill because although it is not quite as good as The Fly it is an interesting, surpirisingly deep comedy and for once old Jeffy is not, I repeat NOT, a scientist but a journalist which on the surface would be sorta like if Morgan Freeman played a nazi. But there are two compensating factors for this. Firstly Jeff is once again a sly, sexy, quirky motherfucker with some solid dialogue that's well delivered. Secondly is that he stars alongside a cast of about 8 others who are all interesting and well developed in their own right. So basically there's less screen time for him.
The plot of the movie is fairly light. Nine college friends are reunited for the funeral of the tenth friend who killed himself for some reason and catalyses the coming together and healing of these once close but now estranged aquaintences. So they spend a weekend together and that's about it for plot. Instead of playing the story card the movie decides to go for the character developement and it pays off. It's like watching real people with real feelings and real lives. Even the characters in danger of becoming stereotypical are well realised and fleshed out. That's pretty much the movie in a nutshell, just some guys doing stuff. There's no answers, no closure but that's the intent. It reminded me of a weekend I'd recently spent with my friends for a 21st. We all got togther, hung out, traded stories and partied. Then when it was over we went our seperate ways vowing to keep in touch until next time (which incidently is this weekend). The movies end conjured up the same feelings as though I'd actually spent the weekend with these people, comparing their lives and wondering what changed. I gotta say it's pretty impressive to be able to claim that as a movie. I didn't walk away from Spiderman and think to myself "I wonder what Peter's doing right now?" It's like escapism that not all of you returns from.
Now onto the bad points, or point I should say "point" because there is really only one. Sex. There are nine thirty-something adults staying in a big house and somehow it turns into a lusty, sex romp. These characters are married to characters outside the party but they hook up. One character wants to hook up to harvest some sexy man-juice and get a baby. Even the suicide victims girlfriend doesn't give a second thought to boarding the greasy meat train of one of the greiving friends. I'd say it reminds me of highschool parties but then I realise that in comparison highschool hookups were a minor thing. Is this really necessary guys? Then to top it all of Jeff's character tries so hard to get some but comes up short everytime. It's funny. It's painful. But most of all I don't buy it for a second. I mean if young Jeff every came on to me and delivered his sexy wit directly into my excited ear canal then I'd just...*ahem* anyway sorry I guess I started sleep typing or something there. I just blanked out and it turns out I'd written a bunch of...stuff...can't quite understand it myself.
Tune in next time for something a bit more ranty and mundane.
Showing posts with label jeff goldblum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jeff goldblum. Show all posts
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Resuming the Evening with Jeff Goldblum - The Fly
This evenings review is going to be a shorter one for 2 reasons. One, it's a good movie and gushing isn't funny and two, if I discuss it too much I'll spoil it. Anyway, enough excuses, on to the review.
In The Fly a much younger Jeff Goldblum plays (can you guess?) a quirky scientist. I wonder if it was this role that sealed his fate to play eccentric genius characters for the bulk of his career? I certainly wouldn't be surprised as this movie good enough to try and immitate for years to come. But then again he plays a much more tragic, romantic and sympathetic character than his other roles in which he is the wise-cracking smart arse to play off the "straight man" which is usually more the tense situation than another person. "Romantic?" I hear you ask, yes that's right playing the role of Jeff's penis recipient today is his future ex-wife Geena Davis, who is also much younger and looking quite appetising indeed (if I focus on her I can tune out the fact that a young, muscle-bound Jeff Goldblum is doing pull ups without a shirt on). The film is often described as a romantic horror and I think this is a pretty good way of pigeon-holing it. As all horror films do The Fly does really cool special effects. It has that organic wonder where it looks both fake and convincing at the same time. Parts will gross you out and horrify you but all the while you'll be thinking "how'd they DO that?" Now I've already stated that I like the movie, BUT that said I wouldn't go about just recommending it willy nilly. It's sad, it's themes get a bit heavy and it's graphic on several occasions. In other words, it's not for pussies. But it's these things that make it great. On top of that it's very human. Humanity really doesn't pop up in movies as much as you'd think. You only really notice it's been absent after being exposed to it and when you are it's fairly refreshing. So that's about all I can say really, The Fly is good if you've got the balls to stomach it.
You can see why I felt I should keep it short now, right?
In The Fly a much younger Jeff Goldblum plays (can you guess?) a quirky scientist. I wonder if it was this role that sealed his fate to play eccentric genius characters for the bulk of his career? I certainly wouldn't be surprised as this movie good enough to try and immitate for years to come. But then again he plays a much more tragic, romantic and sympathetic character than his other roles in which he is the wise-cracking smart arse to play off the "straight man" which is usually more the tense situation than another person. "Romantic?" I hear you ask, yes that's right playing the role of Jeff's penis recipient today is his future ex-wife Geena Davis, who is also much younger and looking quite appetising indeed (if I focus on her I can tune out the fact that a young, muscle-bound Jeff Goldblum is doing pull ups without a shirt on). The film is often described as a romantic horror and I think this is a pretty good way of pigeon-holing it. As all horror films do The Fly does really cool special effects. It has that organic wonder where it looks both fake and convincing at the same time. Parts will gross you out and horrify you but all the while you'll be thinking "how'd they DO that?" Now I've already stated that I like the movie, BUT that said I wouldn't go about just recommending it willy nilly. It's sad, it's themes get a bit heavy and it's graphic on several occasions. In other words, it's not for pussies. But it's these things that make it great. On top of that it's very human. Humanity really doesn't pop up in movies as much as you'd think. You only really notice it's been absent after being exposed to it and when you are it's fairly refreshing. So that's about all I can say really, The Fly is good if you've got the balls to stomach it.
You can see why I felt I should keep it short now, right?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
An Evening with Jeff Goldblum - Independence Day
Jeff Goldblum once again plays a leading role as an eccentric scientist in a movie that is, at best, good looking. I saw this movie as a child when it first came out and have seen it many times since and I have come to the conclusion that it is almost complete rubbish. I say almost because of two things, Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith. Jeff and Will seem a rather odd choice to pair up and if I'd been the skeptical douche I am now when Independence Day first reared its' ugly head I'd have said "it won't work." Finding out what a fantastic on-screen pair they make is like finding out Coco Pops go well with Coca Cola (of which I have no idea, so don't ask). It's a shame that it's really only at the end that the two actually talk to one another and exchange their odd-couple bickerings and witty retorts because it stands as a massive plus in a movie that is far-fetched, overblown and sickeningly patriotic. On that note I feel it necessary to say this, the American President is never, I repeat, NEVER a good character for an action movie. Why? Because then the movie inevitably becomes self-indulgent, nationalistic tripe churned out to wring the money out of your average, white trash American patriot in between watching WWII movies and a documentary on the civil war. The President manages to give a particularly moving/disgusting speech at the end that really nails the last nail in his characterisation coffin.
Moving on from the disgusting characters comes the semi-retarded plot. It's not particularly complex so listen up. One day some alien ships come to Earth and place themselves strategically over all the Earth's major cities. Nobody seems to know what to do at this point but if I were in the movie I'd guess that maybe they were setting themselves up for the Guiness World Record for the World's Most Epic Checkmate? Am I right? Of course I'm fucking right! It's a disaster movie, the aliens won't come in peace. The first to go are the nutjobs and losers who are greeting the aliens in order to dick suck their way into a better life. Most of the plot consists of over dramatised "what's our next move." Their next move is retalliation but apparently the super intelligent beings are well and truely prepared and give the pitiful U.S. Airforce the ego bruising arse-rape it so dearly needs. A whole bunch of blah-de-blah later and Jeff and Will are in space in an enemy/alien ship that crashlanded 50 years ago to deliver a computer virus to the alien mothership before the human race is exterminated to make way for an intergalactic superhighway. Oh wait sorry, that would be far too humorous for this drab, takes-itself-way-too-seriously action wank. Naturally they are an evil race akin to parasites who travel time and space exploiting all natural resources they can find and moving on, leaving a destroyed habitat and many extinct species as their legacy. Naturally this goes against the grain of our very existance as human beings and so we vow to end it. So yeah the plot is shit, although I am ready to admit that the computer virus twist is perhaps a hint at genius in amongst the tired stereotypes and loud bangs.
Another thing I am prepared to admit to liking is the presentation. The alien ships as well and the aliens themselves look genuinely menacing. Most of our impressions of the aliens come across in their large, dark and forboding ships as the aliens themselves get very little screentime and this, I feel, is for the better. It's not that the aliens look silly or that you can see them wearing a wristwatch or anything like that, the aliens actually look very cold and creepy. But they are far more sinister, ominous and oppressive when we can only make guesses about them based on their ship. One gets the inpression that the ship "sees all and knows all" as it hovers above the city, monitoring the tiny world below.
So what's to say about this movie overall? When it's all said and done Independence Day is impressive on an explosion and effects scale but fails tremendously in every other area. The brilliance of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum bump up the movie, but only from an F to a D.
Moving on from the disgusting characters comes the semi-retarded plot. It's not particularly complex so listen up. One day some alien ships come to Earth and place themselves strategically over all the Earth's major cities. Nobody seems to know what to do at this point but if I were in the movie I'd guess that maybe they were setting themselves up for the Guiness World Record for the World's Most Epic Checkmate? Am I right? Of course I'm fucking right! It's a disaster movie, the aliens won't come in peace. The first to go are the nutjobs and losers who are greeting the aliens in order to dick suck their way into a better life. Most of the plot consists of over dramatised "what's our next move." Their next move is retalliation but apparently the super intelligent beings are well and truely prepared and give the pitiful U.S. Airforce the ego bruising arse-rape it so dearly needs. A whole bunch of blah-de-blah later and Jeff and Will are in space in an enemy/alien ship that crashlanded 50 years ago to deliver a computer virus to the alien mothership before the human race is exterminated to make way for an intergalactic superhighway. Oh wait sorry, that would be far too humorous for this drab, takes-itself-way-too-seriously action wank. Naturally they are an evil race akin to parasites who travel time and space exploiting all natural resources they can find and moving on, leaving a destroyed habitat and many extinct species as their legacy. Naturally this goes against the grain of our very existance as human beings and so we vow to end it. So yeah the plot is shit, although I am ready to admit that the computer virus twist is perhaps a hint at genius in amongst the tired stereotypes and loud bangs.
Another thing I am prepared to admit to liking is the presentation. The alien ships as well and the aliens themselves look genuinely menacing. Most of our impressions of the aliens come across in their large, dark and forboding ships as the aliens themselves get very little screentime and this, I feel, is for the better. It's not that the aliens look silly or that you can see them wearing a wristwatch or anything like that, the aliens actually look very cold and creepy. But they are far more sinister, ominous and oppressive when we can only make guesses about them based on their ship. One gets the inpression that the ship "sees all and knows all" as it hovers above the city, monitoring the tiny world below.
So what's to say about this movie overall? When it's all said and done Independence Day is impressive on an explosion and effects scale but fails tremendously in every other area. The brilliance of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum bump up the movie, but only from an F to a D.
Friday, July 31, 2009
An Evening with Jeff Goldblum - Jurassic Park and The Lost World
You get a special double helping of both dinosaur action and tastey, tastey Jeff Goldblum today as we review the Steven Spielberg films of Jurassic Park and its sequal The Lost World.
In Jurassic Park Jeff Goldblum plays Dr Ian Malcolm, an out-there chaos theorist with a sharp wit and something of a rockstar disposition. Let me just say that Dr. Malcolm and the old guy that founds the park are the best characters in Jurassic Park. Dr. Malcolm has the best lines and is the most likeable whilst the old guy (John I believe his name is) is a sympathetic character who's dreams and ambitions are the foundations for the disasters that follow. The other characters are Spielberg's classic stereotypes that he shoehorns into all his damn movies. There's the sassy woman, the worried lawyer, the stupid stupid kids and the guy-who-hates-kids-at-the-start-but-then-grows-quite-attached-to-them-because-survival-brings-people-together-and-really-makes-you-appreciate-things-in-a-whole-new-light. All THESE fucktards are about as deep and well developed as a cardboard cutout with a speech bubble stuck to it. But at least we have the other two characters who are more than able to carry the rest thr...oh fuck Dr. Malcolm broke his leg and will be ignored from now on. Guess that fucks that up. In the Lost World Dr. Malcolm returns with a much needed increase in his lines and the movie is made all the better for it. Mind you the characters in this one are stupidly stereotypical and flat aswell. There's the child, the stubborn girlfriend, the greedy capitolist bastard, the hunter and the COMPLETE DICKHOLE ENVIRONMENTALIST GUY WHO GETS OTHER PEOPLE KILLED BY ATTEMPTING SURGERY ON AN INJURED BABY T-REX AND BY DELIBERATELY STEALING BULLETS FROM PEOPLE'S GUNS. I mean seriously this guy is a self righteous fucktard wanker who I personally wanted to kick in the balls til they poked through his brain. Sounds harsh but he is truely a douchebag you need to see to believe.
Another problem I have with this movie is how often you'll be yelling at the characters to stop being stupid. Characters carry guns but never fucking use them, they just stand there and scream. Just kill it you moron, you can scream all you want once it's dead. Now that we're on the topic of screaming and acting like mindless servings of food I feel it would be silly not to metion the children at this point. The children who turn on flashing lights so that the nearby dinosaur can definately see them. The chilren who need to be saved regularly by other, less stupid characters. The children who even when they have the brilliant idea to draw dinsaurs away from other characters with noise, execute it in a stupid way by drawing the dinosaurs to themself rather than thowing something as to make alot of noise that is not near them or indeed anybody. You'll resent those goddamn kids lemme tell you that for nothing (the asking price for all my worldly insights).
But complaints aside the movies are both well paced, intense, action packed and funilly enough believeable. I believed that dinosaurs really were feasting on people, especially in the second one which lends more special effects power so that the deaths are more explicit rather than implied. I must say I am a big fan of the second one with its increased violence, death toll and indeed Jeff Goldblum ratio. But then the second movie does something so stupid that it kinda wrecks it all. Within the last half hour of the movie the capitolst wanker character stupidly decides to take the T-Rex off the secluded island and bring it to the city, for the public to enjoy. Of course this is just Steven Spielberg setting up a completely dumb, destructive action aside that fails to serve the plot in any way at all. Sure it's kinda cool to see old Rex headbutt a bus and chase a crowd of Japanese through the streets BUT it came at a very large cost. All of a sudden I said to myself "hang on! Dinosaurs getting cloned from DNA? Frogs filling in the DNA gaps? Animal experts acting inexpertly? This can't happen, it's IMPOSSIBLE!" It is at this point the movie stops being immersive and believable and starts being just a plain ol' popcorn and coke movie. It's the point at which Spielberg coaxes the plot away from Michael Crichton's carefully crafted text and descides to go for a big blockbuster action copout wank. Sure it's cool and might even stimulate your need to see things obliterated but it's at the cost of all the subtlety both the movies had been working so hard at. In the first movie they withold the dinosaur action a fair bit at the start to built suspense. The characters drive past the pens wanting to see them but they aren't in view. Now here we have one smashing up shit in the middle of the city. The rampage itself leaves a lot of questions unanswered as well. Where the fuck is the army? Or some sort of city defence? They have a large preditor tearing shit up for about 20 mins and the only response is for the main characters to lure the animal back to the ship to trap it by using it's offspring as bait. For fucksake KILL IT! KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS YOU! ARE YOU STUPID? THIS THING WANTS YOU ALL DEAD! STOP CARING ABOUT IT! IF YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT NATURE YOU'D KILL IT BECAUSE TECHNICALLY IT IS AN INTRODUCED SPECIES ANYWAY! THAT AND YOU SHOULD STOP CARING ABOUT NATURE WHEN IT WANTS YOU ALL DEAD!!!
In Jurassic Park Jeff Goldblum plays Dr Ian Malcolm, an out-there chaos theorist with a sharp wit and something of a rockstar disposition. Let me just say that Dr. Malcolm and the old guy that founds the park are the best characters in Jurassic Park. Dr. Malcolm has the best lines and is the most likeable whilst the old guy (John I believe his name is) is a sympathetic character who's dreams and ambitions are the foundations for the disasters that follow. The other characters are Spielberg's classic stereotypes that he shoehorns into all his damn movies. There's the sassy woman, the worried lawyer, the stupid stupid kids and the guy-who-hates-kids-at-the-start-but-then-grows-quite-attached-to-them-because-survival-brings-people-together-and-really-makes-you-appreciate-things-in-a-whole-new-light. All THESE fucktards are about as deep and well developed as a cardboard cutout with a speech bubble stuck to it. But at least we have the other two characters who are more than able to carry the rest thr...oh fuck Dr. Malcolm broke his leg and will be ignored from now on. Guess that fucks that up. In the Lost World Dr. Malcolm returns with a much needed increase in his lines and the movie is made all the better for it. Mind you the characters in this one are stupidly stereotypical and flat aswell. There's the child, the stubborn girlfriend, the greedy capitolist bastard, the hunter and the COMPLETE DICKHOLE ENVIRONMENTALIST GUY WHO GETS OTHER PEOPLE KILLED BY ATTEMPTING SURGERY ON AN INJURED BABY T-REX AND BY DELIBERATELY STEALING BULLETS FROM PEOPLE'S GUNS. I mean seriously this guy is a self righteous fucktard wanker who I personally wanted to kick in the balls til they poked through his brain. Sounds harsh but he is truely a douchebag you need to see to believe.
Another problem I have with this movie is how often you'll be yelling at the characters to stop being stupid. Characters carry guns but never fucking use them, they just stand there and scream. Just kill it you moron, you can scream all you want once it's dead. Now that we're on the topic of screaming and acting like mindless servings of food I feel it would be silly not to metion the children at this point. The children who turn on flashing lights so that the nearby dinosaur can definately see them. The chilren who need to be saved regularly by other, less stupid characters. The children who even when they have the brilliant idea to draw dinsaurs away from other characters with noise, execute it in a stupid way by drawing the dinosaurs to themself rather than thowing something as to make alot of noise that is not near them or indeed anybody. You'll resent those goddamn kids lemme tell you that for nothing (the asking price for all my worldly insights).
But complaints aside the movies are both well paced, intense, action packed and funilly enough believeable. I believed that dinosaurs really were feasting on people, especially in the second one which lends more special effects power so that the deaths are more explicit rather than implied. I must say I am a big fan of the second one with its increased violence, death toll and indeed Jeff Goldblum ratio. But then the second movie does something so stupid that it kinda wrecks it all. Within the last half hour of the movie the capitolst wanker character stupidly decides to take the T-Rex off the secluded island and bring it to the city, for the public to enjoy. Of course this is just Steven Spielberg setting up a completely dumb, destructive action aside that fails to serve the plot in any way at all. Sure it's kinda cool to see old Rex headbutt a bus and chase a crowd of Japanese through the streets BUT it came at a very large cost. All of a sudden I said to myself "hang on! Dinosaurs getting cloned from DNA? Frogs filling in the DNA gaps? Animal experts acting inexpertly? This can't happen, it's IMPOSSIBLE!" It is at this point the movie stops being immersive and believable and starts being just a plain ol' popcorn and coke movie. It's the point at which Spielberg coaxes the plot away from Michael Crichton's carefully crafted text and descides to go for a big blockbuster action copout wank. Sure it's cool and might even stimulate your need to see things obliterated but it's at the cost of all the subtlety both the movies had been working so hard at. In the first movie they withold the dinosaur action a fair bit at the start to built suspense. The characters drive past the pens wanting to see them but they aren't in view. Now here we have one smashing up shit in the middle of the city. The rampage itself leaves a lot of questions unanswered as well. Where the fuck is the army? Or some sort of city defence? They have a large preditor tearing shit up for about 20 mins and the only response is for the main characters to lure the animal back to the ship to trap it by using it's offspring as bait. For fucksake KILL IT! KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS YOU! ARE YOU STUPID? THIS THING WANTS YOU ALL DEAD! STOP CARING ABOUT IT! IF YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT NATURE YOU'D KILL IT BECAUSE TECHNICALLY IT IS AN INTRODUCED SPECIES ANYWAY! THAT AND YOU SHOULD STOP CARING ABOUT NATURE WHEN IT WANTS YOU ALL DEAD!!!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
101st Post
Now that my 100th post is up I thought I'd just make a quick post in regard to upcoming content. The next few posts will all be movie reviews. Movies with Jeff Goldblum in them. I shall call it "An Evening with Jeff Goldblum" (I watched all these movies in a single evening/night) and it shall be great.
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