The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to "Doing a Beardy"

To start things up we're probably going to need to identify what "Doing a Beardy" actually is. In short it is a local colloquialism describing the act of wandering back and forth through the main mall (or CBD) because there's fuck all else to do. Ok, now that we've put our urban dictionaries down it's time to get into it.

First up you should check and make sure you have no other commitments. If you have work or an exam for example, then now is probably not the time to do a Beardy. Another aspect to consider is the time. A prime time to be doing a Beardy is either between 12pm and 1pm or after school. These timeslots are the times when the mall is at it's busiest, thus increasing your chances of (A) Bumping unexpectedly into someone you know; or (B) seeing some humorous or strange human behaviour.

Please note: If you are trying to avoid someone you may want to consider very carefully which time would be best for you to partake in a Beardy.

To enchance your Beardy experience you may want to take some loose change with you. Perhaps consider going down or meeting up with a friend or two. Not only does a companion liven up the experience, but having someone with you makes you look less lonely and desperate and therefore, more approachable. Having a friend whom is more popular and sociable than you also helps.

Now on to locations. The mall has many wonderful and varied places to visit; from cafes to clothing stores. Feel free to do a little window shopping as you meander between shops. Perhaps if you are feeling peckish you may consider buying some food or drink items to help sustain yourself. If you have friends or family members who are working at a nearby store you may want to pop in and see how they're going. If you followed my earlier advice on choosing the right time they may be taking their luchbreak soon; opening up a possible hour or so in which you could "hang" with them.

That's about all there is to it. Remember, the most important thing of all is that you have fun. Well that and distracting youself from the fact that you're unemployed, socially unacceptable and probably a sevre burden to that popular, well-adjusted guy you keep bugging to go downtown with you.