If Life Were A Videogame - Lesson One: Sleeping

I had a particularly shit sleep the other night. I was laying in bed with my eyes shut for about 4 hours trying to catch some z's. It was even shittier because I had work the next day I needed my beauty sleep. But my brian just wouldn't do it. It knew what it had to do, it knew the stakes and then it folded under the pressure. To be honest sleep rarely works out for me. I sleep too much. I sleep too little. I can only sleep facing one way. I'm too hot. I'm too cold. I'm too hungry. I have a diabetes related problem. I'm too tightly tucked in. My feet are exposed. I dream that there's a strange person in my room. There actually is a strange person in my room and he's stealing my wallet. I'm too excited. I'm itchy. I'm restless. Do you get my point? Now it occured to me recently that in videogames you don't have that problem. If life were a videogame then sleeping would trouble me no more. Take Fable II as a recent and trendy example. In Fable II enducing sleep is as simple as finding a bed, pressing A and selecting how long you want to sleep for. How fucking easy is that? (Answer: very).

Sims characters have no trouble sleeping either. I've even seen them sleeping standing up before. Turn based games like Final Fantasy XII have sleep spells as well as potions and spells to wake them up again. Of course, if I could help it I'd eliminate the need for sleep altogether. I could really use those extra hours in my life. But instead of learning to yodel I'm doing nothing. Nothing but sleep. So for one last gaming reference let's bring in Mario. Mario has no need for sleep. Mario could sleep if he wanted to, but why would he? Mario is unaffected by fatigue. He always has the energy to run, jump and fly. The only time Mario DOES sleep is when you don't play with him for 5 minutes or so. But even then he's probably just sulking. Anyway it's getting late now so I'd best be getting to bed now and TRYING to get some sleep. Goodnight.