The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Blogging

This picture has nothing to do with the post. Just thought a steam-punk Pacman was pretty awesome.

It's time I faced the facts. I'm becoming a bit lazy when it comes to my blog these days, and the quality of Infinite Possiblogities is suffering because of it. So it's time to step up and lift my game. I realise that writing a blog about "how to blog" in order to save your own blog is an extremely risky move. The risk is, of course, looking like a desperate and confused tosser trying to claw back some credability. Anyway, jerking off aside I present to you the Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Blogging.

The first thing to do when starting a blog is perhaps to plan ahead for maybe a week or two in advance. Starting off a blog impulsively is fine but you run the risk of running out of steam by the 3rd post and wondering what it is you actually wanna say. The purpose of your blog is something you're going to find hard to justify to yourself on a daily basis. Once you're over that little hurdle it's time to think of a name for your blog. Here I strongly advise against calling your blog anything like "Whatever" or "Just Started This Coz I was Bored." Be a bit more creative than that. Try and clarify or convey some sort of purpose in your title. There would have to be millions of half-arsed, 2 post blogs out there and calling your blog "Stuff" will likly convince potential readers that your blog is one of them. Anyway once your cool, new blog is up and running it's time to start the actual blogging process and belive me this is no easy task. If you imagine that a blog is like a child. You have to nourish it with regular, wholesome posts so that it becomes big and strong. But too many junk posts and your blog will become bloated and unattractive to look at. It might even become the victim of bullying by the other cool blogs. Speaking of bullying, going out and acting like a complete tool on the internet can actually be a good thing in terms of boosting your number of readers and it gives you something to post about if your imagination otherwise fails you. For example if I went out to some other random blogs and started leaving negative feedback they will probably get offended and either blog about you or comment on one of your blogs. If you retaliate there will be a bit of an online feud involving friends and fans and the potential for dragging more allies into the fray is slightly increased. Of course this may not always pay off. If you're a totally, unlikable douche then it is possible you will turn people off but then it's hard to say because even people who annonymously spout uninformed hate accross the net seem to get alot of readers (mostly because of that I'd say). Now this is actually something I've never personally stooped to. I've always challenged myself and held myself to a higher standard than that and have resisted using any cheap tricks to win over fans. There is also the option of sending compliments instead of stiring shit. Again this is a tactic I don't employ myself but keep in mind that my blog is slowing wanking itself into a horrid mess, so perhaps following what I do isn't the most prosperous move you could make.

PS if all else fails you could always try taking cheap shots at pornographic movies. I didn't even know anyone read my blogs until I did that.