It struck me recently just how little my blog actually resembles the classic blog model. I don't indulge you with what I ate for breakfast (cereal). I've never opened up to the blogosphere and poured my heart out like a whiney teenager (I don't have a heart). And I flat out refuse to run crying back to my blog to bog myself down in self reflection and pseudo philosophical bullshit everytime I misinterpret a social neuance like I'm trying to mirror the life of a character from Sex and the City. But having said that the whole point for starting this blog in the first place, I mean appart from Lucy telling me I should, was that I had found myself stuck in a rut and thought that a blog might get my creative wanking muscles nice and strong again. But after doing this thing for a few years now it's become increasingly apparent that I'm slipping into a new rut. A rut consisting of me swearing and telling you how much I love/hate some movie/game. So after experiencing a rather strange day I decided I'd share with you some of the anecdotes and musings I went through in what will hopefully be an entertaining manner more resembling the blogs of my peers.
So it was a Tuesday. And Christ what a dick of a day Tuesday is. As my inevitable second day in a row getting about 5 or less hours of sleep, I find that getting up at 9am to drag my unenthused arse to a dimly lit lecture room to watch a powerpoint slide predominantly featuring long and samey reaction mechanisms warrents a hard earned nap afterwards. Except I never quite get around to napping. I have a 2 hour gap between the time I get home and my afternoon chemistry workshop which is exactly enough time to strip down, dim the lights, get under the covers, try to sleep, fail, get back up and put all your clothes back on just in time to do it all over again.
Now this brings me nicely to the first of my little anecdots. Whilst waiting for my workshop up at the campus cafe I discovered to my absolute horror that I lacked any and all writing utensils, having gotten them out at home in an ill-conceived attempt at study. I didn't much fancy the idea of sitting in an intimate classroom with 5 other students and my lecturer whilst they busily scribbled out answers to the worksheet and I was stuck trying to look like I'm in a deep state of engagement and understanding with molecular symmetry. I was also hungry and so concluded that the best option for the slaughtering of these two birds would be to visit the campus newsagent. So I grabbed a pen and a Cornetto (more on that later) and paid some rediculous price that made me curse my horrible scatter brain and left to attend the workshop. I arrived a good 10 minutes early and so I killed some time playing Pokemon. Some of my lecturers from other classes popped in and out of the room to grab textbooks, all the while trying not to look like my unexplained presence in the room was making them feel uneasy. So I waited. And waited. I checked the time and it soon became apparent that the workshop wasn't on and I was the only one who hadn't gotten the menu. The first thought that came to mind was "Fuck! I just bought a pen too." My second thought was how pathetic my first thought was. So I packed my stuff and left the room and I have to tell you there is nothing like the feeling of embarrasment you get as you shamefully slip out of an classroom you have been seen loitering in for a good 15 mins by people who have the power to fail you.
Now back to my Cornetto tale. Just let me qualify by saying "I fucking love Cornetto's". After many years of indiscriminantly eating icecreams of all sorts it's one of few left standing that I can still get excited about. It's the chocolate, the cone, the nuts, the complete lack of any boring bits the whole way down. Or so I thought. Street's have long claimed that Cornetto's have "no boring bits" because the chocolate and nuts are not just toppings but also make up a sort of confectionary spine that runs the whole way down the cone. But I have managed to isolate a sizable area in the icecream that I think qualifies as boring and it occurs between the aforementioned spine and the topping layer above the surface. It's not much, but it's there and it consists of about a mouthful of just the icecream. This area has been noticably present on the past three occassions in which I've dinned on a Cornetto. But who gives a fuck? I personally I still love Cornetto's and only really mention this as it is the sort of casual, brown-cardigan-wearing rubbish that my fellow "bloggers" tend to dribble on about as they try desperately to make a real human connection across this bleak void of ones and zeros. The rest of my day consisted of dinner and procrastination. So there we have it. That was my attempt at a "real blog". Don't complain, it's not like you pay me for this shit anyway. Besides we all know that in a weeks time I'll be back with a movie I hate and a short list of words I can substitute for "shit."
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Pokemon Black and White
With as much time passing between posts as this I find it quite hard to get the ball rolling again. A lot of stuff has happened in the past 2 months, both personal and impersonal, and with each passing day it feels like I'm going to have to do a better and better post in order to grab the spotlight once again. Speaking of grabbing the spotlight again it has been mere days since the release of Pokemon Black and White versions and the consequential dawning of the inevitable 5th generation of pokemon. So now that I've drawn your attention away from my neglectful blogging I think it's high time I reviewed the new Pokemon games.
It's actually hard to know where to begin when reviewing a Pokemon game. It seems somewhat rediculous to try and introduce and explain Pokemon in any way to give context to the review because in this day and age it feels a little bit like being tasked with explaining the internet. Most people already know at least something about it to a certain extent and those that don't will be so disinterested that they are certainly not going to be reading this blog post ever. So lets cut that bullshit right out and skip straight to Black and White.
If you have ever played Pokemon Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Gold, Silver, Crystal, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, LeafGreen, FireRed, Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, SoulSilver, Heartgold or any combination of the above then basically everything I'm about to tell you will sound as familiar as your own name. You start up the game as a youthful boy or girl who lives in a small town consisting of your mum, a family who live next door with an only child of roughly the same age, a few nameless randoms who wander around outdoors a lot and a world renowned Pokemon Professor who shares a name with a species of tree. You're character is still a mute gimp who gets praised as a hero when really all they ever do is get dragged into any shit that happens to be going on nearby. Before too long you and your peer are given a choice between a water, grass or fire pokemon, given a pokedex and pushed out of your nest so that you may topple the plans of an evil organization, battle a legendary pokemon and become the pokemon champion for the region. Speaking of legendary pokemon we have now reached the point where 47 pokemon are officially considered legendary, which somewhat undermines the feeling of awe you might've once felt for them. I'd also like to point out how silly it is that there are so many pokemon legends and stories being passed around these different towns and regions and that not a single one of them turns out to be wrong. It's akin to all the worlds religions becoming completely validated all within a few decades.
Anyway so back to the story arc. Pokemon Black and White sticks pretty faithfully to the previous generation's story arcs but I must say it does step it up the tiniest bit by making a morally ambiguous antagonist called N. N is something of a rogue member of the aforementioned evil corporation but his motivations are actually sympathetic and even admirable. I wouldn't want to "spoil" things for you but let me just say that even though for the most part the story of pokemon black and white differs from previous stories only in names and character models there are one or two moments that will feel different and interesting, even if they game doesn't take things far enough.
But you know what? Fuck the story! Nobody's playing pokemon for it's gripping and epic narrative (however welcome I think it would be to the series). All anyone really cares about is new moves and new pokemon and while I'm not really an obsessive enough loser to comment on the new moves I certainly can comment about the new pokemon. Initially I, like many many others, thought that the new pokemon looked generally uninspired and dull. While this certainly is the case for a few of them many of the new ones have actually grown on me a lot. There is one that is literally a bag of rubbish with a face whilst there's another one that is modelled like a giant ice cream cone. It's a mixed bag that I'm generally happy with and there are quite a few new and unique type combinations for all you fellow strategy nerds out there. But it's a personal thing of course and whether or not you think the current generation are balls or not really comes down to personal taste and how you value your pokemon.
Mechanics wise things have been tweaked here and there and various small features have been stuck about the place that will appeal to varying extents but really there really isn't anything new here. Pokemon Black and White play more like expansions to the generation 4 pokemon games than proper sequels. Despite a few bells and whistles it's clear that the pokemon series is stagnating but how much that bothers you is another question entirely. Whilst I'm totally aware that the series is in dire need of a dramatic shake up I also can't honestly say I'm not enjoying the new games. So what can you really do about it? It's a winning formula that is currently guarenteed to make Gamefreak and Nintendo millions of dollars. Perhaps the 3DS will inspire the developers to shake things up a bit?
It's actually hard to know where to begin when reviewing a Pokemon game. It seems somewhat rediculous to try and introduce and explain Pokemon in any way to give context to the review because in this day and age it feels a little bit like being tasked with explaining the internet. Most people already know at least something about it to a certain extent and those that don't will be so disinterested that they are certainly not going to be reading this blog post ever. So lets cut that bullshit right out and skip straight to Black and White.
If you have ever played Pokemon Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Gold, Silver, Crystal, Ruby, Sapphire, Emerald, LeafGreen, FireRed, Diamond, Pearl, Platinum, SoulSilver, Heartgold or any combination of the above then basically everything I'm about to tell you will sound as familiar as your own name. You start up the game as a youthful boy or girl who lives in a small town consisting of your mum, a family who live next door with an only child of roughly the same age, a few nameless randoms who wander around outdoors a lot and a world renowned Pokemon Professor who shares a name with a species of tree. You're character is still a mute gimp who gets praised as a hero when really all they ever do is get dragged into any shit that happens to be going on nearby. Before too long you and your peer are given a choice between a water, grass or fire pokemon, given a pokedex and pushed out of your nest so that you may topple the plans of an evil organization, battle a legendary pokemon and become the pokemon champion for the region. Speaking of legendary pokemon we have now reached the point where 47 pokemon are officially considered legendary, which somewhat undermines the feeling of awe you might've once felt for them. I'd also like to point out how silly it is that there are so many pokemon legends and stories being passed around these different towns and regions and that not a single one of them turns out to be wrong. It's akin to all the worlds religions becoming completely validated all within a few decades.
Anyway so back to the story arc. Pokemon Black and White sticks pretty faithfully to the previous generation's story arcs but I must say it does step it up the tiniest bit by making a morally ambiguous antagonist called N. N is something of a rogue member of the aforementioned evil corporation but his motivations are actually sympathetic and even admirable. I wouldn't want to "spoil" things for you but let me just say that even though for the most part the story of pokemon black and white differs from previous stories only in names and character models there are one or two moments that will feel different and interesting, even if they game doesn't take things far enough.
But you know what? Fuck the story! Nobody's playing pokemon for it's gripping and epic narrative (however welcome I think it would be to the series). All anyone really cares about is new moves and new pokemon and while I'm not really an obsessive enough loser to comment on the new moves I certainly can comment about the new pokemon. Initially I, like many many others, thought that the new pokemon looked generally uninspired and dull. While this certainly is the case for a few of them many of the new ones have actually grown on me a lot. There is one that is literally a bag of rubbish with a face whilst there's another one that is modelled like a giant ice cream cone. It's a mixed bag that I'm generally happy with and there are quite a few new and unique type combinations for all you fellow strategy nerds out there. But it's a personal thing of course and whether or not you think the current generation are balls or not really comes down to personal taste and how you value your pokemon.
Mechanics wise things have been tweaked here and there and various small features have been stuck about the place that will appeal to varying extents but really there really isn't anything new here. Pokemon Black and White play more like expansions to the generation 4 pokemon games than proper sequels. Despite a few bells and whistles it's clear that the pokemon series is stagnating but how much that bothers you is another question entirely. Whilst I'm totally aware that the series is in dire need of a dramatic shake up I also can't honestly say I'm not enjoying the new games. So what can you really do about it? It's a winning formula that is currently guarenteed to make Gamefreak and Nintendo millions of dollars. Perhaps the 3DS will inspire the developers to shake things up a bit?
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