An Update on Morning TV

(It's gone completely shit).

Channel Ten often strikes me as a very juvenile network. It's in house productions are all Big Brother housemates showing their "absolute fav OMG rofl" youtube videos or chubby camp guys hosting televised cook-offs (you know what I mean). Now for the sake of my lazyness and fondness for my own blog cast your minds (and indeed web browsers; by that I mean read it) back to my early post in which I pondered, mournfully on the fate of Cheez TV. I can wait...have you read it yet?

Finally. Fuck you read slowly. Anyway as a uni student I am required once again to get up at what my mum calls a "reasonable hour". This means that I'll occasionally turn on the TV for something to stimulate my fragile brain before trudging off to Maths. Let me just falt out say it to you. I'm talking to YOU CHANNEL TEN. The best template for a breakfast kids show is having a couple of cheeky, charismatic hosts intermitedly break from the main cartoons and educate, stimulate and thoroughly entertain the audience before they're dragged to school. What ten do is hop around between hosts and tv shows like they've got commitment issues. They have a small talent pool of 5 or so hosts and more often than not they'll be in 2 or 3 different programs all back to back. They jump from Toasted TV to Totally Wild to some Playschool ripoff with dodgy CGI. In amougnst the chaotic host mess you only get to see one fucking cartoon. Repeat: In the morning of every school day the children only get to see one half hour episode of ONE FUCKING CARTOON. That and it's fucking Bakugan, which is just some sketchy fucking anime of the Yu Gi Oh/Beyblades ilk; aimed at kids who they want to sell merchandise to. It's not so much product placement as it is story placement. It's like a story was smuggled into toy commercial. Anyway I covered alot of topics today so perhaps it's time to take a breather. I'll be back soon with some witty, game-related observations and maybe even a cheeky review or 2. But none of my readers actually give a fuck about those, do they?

The Vanishing Cheez

Is it just me or is the lobotomized, bleached blond, surfer demographic severely over-represented in today's kids shows? What the hell happened to quality TV show hosts? What ever happened to Cheez TV? I used to love that show. Not only did it make school mornings bearable it was aslo the source of many quality Kids shows like Sailor Moon and Pokemon. Not only that but the hosts were actually entertaining and a pleasure to watch. But the show and the hosts were one day simply gone. Vanished. Never to be seen again. Having watched shows like The Shak and Big Arvo where the hosts fall into the characatures of The Bimbo, The Science Guy and the (groan) Crazy, Outrageous Guy; it was nice to have hosts that you could respect and admire. I never once felt that Jade or Ryan were dumbing themselves down or going for the cheap laughs. They did many parodies and even had a News Reporter character called Dick Wad. Fuck that's ballsy. You may wonder why I even care what's on in the mornings given that I no longer go to school and therefore don't often rise from my slumber before lunchtime; but really it's not about me. It's the new generation that misses out. I'll always have my fond memories and all the kids of today get are crappy old Toasted TV with Pip (The bubbley chick) and Dan (the...*shudder*...Crazy, Outrageous Guy). So while the Cheezoid generation grows up and moves on the sun sets on possibly the last good kids TV show and hosts. So I'd like to raise my glass in a toast to the memories of Cheez TV; the show that never tried too hard to grab our attention, but managed to anyway.