I Still Love You...I Promise

Ah yes, my blog. That thing I created ages ago during that period when my ego was quite swollen and led me to believe that my blog may grant me money and respect. This could be my big break...WRONG! Several months later after a dizzying surge in my popularity which occured around the time that I made fun of pornographic director Ben Dover I have dropped back from my daily posting habits and perhaps in the number of fanatical devotees aswell. Anyway I'm back and I'm just letting you know that even though I've kept my 4 devoted fans waiting for so long I do still have plenty of ideas for Infinite Possiblogities. The reason the postings have become spacey as of late is because I have a job now and it's thrusting its' large, throbbing shifts into my moist, tight leisure time. So no need to panic, Infinite Possiblogities is far from dead. I will continue to review crappy things, make nerdy observations and ejactulate all of my word-semen across the face (and breasts) of the internet.

P.S. I think I have a problem.

The Catch Up

Far out I've been shit to my blog the past week. If I.P. was my child then I'm pretty sure a concerned neighbour would have dobbed me in to the cops by now and my face would be all over the evening news. The truth of the matter is that the past week has been a fairly full one. Now because I'm fairly sure that the whole point of blogging is to inflict the tales of your own exciting (or boring) lives upon the public I feel that I should give a bit of a rundown on what I've been up to the past week.

Monday was one of the few days this week where I actually DID blog. After giving Femalien the thumbs down I played Super Paper Mario for a considerable hunk of the day. At some point later on in the evening My friends, brothers, girlfriend (just for the record I'm not one of those guys who calls his girlfriend "My Girlfriend" all the time like it's her name, I'm just not down with giving out names on my blog) and I went to the local art gallery to see the Year 12 Major Works Exhibition. Art, Dance, Music and Drama students all showed off their hard work and took comfort in the knowledge that at least one (maybe two or three for some students) large part of the HSC was over.

Tuesday I was feeling pretty guilty about the fact that I hadn't been doing any TAFE work the previous day. So what did I do? Well I went on a picnic with a few of my friends and had a jolly old time at the park until the weather turned against us. I then declined an offer to go to the movies because of that aweful feeling of falling behind I had got from ignoring TAFE the past couple of days.

Wednesday I did TAFE until about 7pm when I met up with a few of my friends to go see Cog live. I enjoyed the show immensly. I liked how close I could easily get to the band because of the smallish venue. Saw some sus chick whoring it up with two different guys and we got rubbish hurled at us for dissing on Disturbed. An awesome night out I'd say.

Thursday I woke up at the GF's house and looked after her for a while because she was unwell. When I got home I immediately went to The Escapist to watch the new Zero Punctuation video (did anyone follow that link when I posted about him? You can tell me he's shit if you like, I won't get offended). Played some Fable and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. Oh and I also posted that day, vowing never to miss a day of posting again.

Friday I didn't post again. Did a few Beardy's with some friends. Visited sick GF. Had dinner. Had a humiliating game of pool in an unfamiliar pool environment (our usual pick of the pubs for pool was having a filthy function and as a result excluded us fron the pool tables). Feeling ashamed we went to a friends house and watched 10 Items or Less for a little bit. Then I went home, woke up, ate breakfast, made myself a pretty bad coffee and wrote this boring post. Enjoy.

What's the Point?

It's Friday, the end of another blogging week and I thought I'd end the week on a simple note. Why do people cook with poppy seeds? They're in our muffins, on our bread. Ok so I'm nit-picking again but just to demonstrate my point let me just list the criteria I personally think need to be met in order to use an ingredient

1. Adds flavour


2. Adds to the texture


3. Adds to the presentation

First point to be disregarded is flavour. I have tasted poppy seeds by themself as a test of this and I found it to have no distinguishable flavour. There is however a definate texture, but is it really a desirable one? They're just gritty and unpleasant. They're like a more hygenic substitute for droping the dish in the dirt. Lastly, the presentation. Well I can't deny that the orange and poppy seed cake LOOKS better for having the poppy seeds in them. I guess that's the point, it looks cool. But the enhanced appearance of a desert seems like a small benefit in regards to the reduction in your own appearance when you beautiful smile is compromised by all the small black poppy seeds stuck in your teeth.

Goodbye Beijing

Do not fret, I'm not going to review the Closing Ceremony. What I AM going to do is ask a simple question in the hope of it being answered or at least acknowledged. There was one thing missing these games. Where the hell were Roy and HG? I was looking forward to their special occasion antics. Roy and HG have had a show going for every major sporting event since the Sydney 2000 Olympics all those years ago. Ok, that's one complaint down but I've got more. Channel Seven should be fucking banned from broadcasting the Olympics. They are absolute RUBBISH at it. It's not just their moronic commentary; viewers are subjected to barrages of shitty montages and ads for the shows that will be coming on after the Olympics. Fuck you Seven Network. You had actual events to broadcast. E-fucking-vents. That's what you paid millions to broadcast you chimps. I recall watching a whole event get cut down to just the winning performance. My whole family was outraged. There need to be fucking standards when dishing out Olympics Broadcasting Rights, 5 sacks with dollar signs on them and blowjobs aren't going to cut it anymore. Remember the world complaining that China didn't meet the human rights standards necessary to host the Olympics? Well I think there should be rules for broadcasters aswell. Rules that must be obeyed, for the punishment shall be based around sackwhacking and sevre nipple twisting. I really hope the IOC is listening.

This Post's Too Shit for a Title

Let me just start off by saying that I have officially managed to keep this blog updated daily for 3 weeks. You may recall from my very first post that I was skeptical of my abilities to offer anything worth reading and predicted that I would be packing an unfinished blog into the back of the closet. It's kinda strange admitting this but I find blogging a satisfying and enriching experience. Just though I'd let you know, that IS what blogging is all about after all (isn't it?).

Fuck! I was gonna post some more shit, but I'm needed elsewhere right now. Many appologies to my loyal readers who have come to expect more from me, but this might have to be all for today. Perhaps you might like to bask in the irony of the fact that this post was supposed to celebrate my unexpected longevity and in itself is by far one of the shortest postings I've ever made. Once again, sorry guys. Hopefully I've greatly improved by Monday.

PS. Got our new fridge this afternoon. It's fucking sweet!

A Day in the Life

It seems that whilst I've been running off on personal agendas with my blog (about 1/3 praise and 2/3 chastising) I've sorta been neglecting to do the whole "today I brushed my teeth" kinda blog. You're probably asking yourselves about now whether I've "lost my touch" or not (at the moment I'm kinda thinking that too) but I woke up this morning with some slightly out-of-the-ordinary (I can hyphonate whatever I want) news. I'm not sure if this'll interest you in the slightest, I suppose the reason I'm posting it is to test you. Feel free to comment me. Anyway back to my life. I woke up this morning to my mum bustling around the house, in and out of phonecalls with Harvey Norman, Retravision and my dad. As it turns out we are in need of a new fridge (this is what he's gonna blog about? I'm gonna leave him the most negative feedback he's ever seen). I must say I had noticed our fridge was starting to "lose it's groove" in the past week or so, what with all the luke-warm milk and all. I must say that even though it is JUST a fridge I'm a little excited. We've had the old fridge for as long as I can remember, maybe even longer than that. I can't wait to see the new fridge, all shiny and new, completely sterile and clean. It's a good oportunity to chuck out some of the weird shit that's been lurking (not to mention expiring) in the dark recesses of our old fridge. Anything we don't really want will not make the transfer. Fridge magnets and photo's are currently under review until further notice. Fridges are so exciting, I can't wait 'til...WHAT AM I WRITING!?!
I'm sorry folks I'm just going to get away from the computer for a bit, collect my thoughts and start again. OK? OK...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Ok. So there I was watching this really shit TV show...

This is How I Will Lose My Fans

Brace yourselves people. I am about to do something quite wankerish and absurd. Perhaps you will find a enough parody and self-loathing in this to find it acceptable; perhaps you will delete me from your favourites list and stop recommending me to your friends. But blow the costs. Today I review...my own blog.

Mr. B is the creative mind behind the Infinite Possiblogities page on Blogspot. Posts on Infinite Possiblogities consist largely of observations and pseudo-reviews written in an informal, manner and are often highly critical. Posts often feature questionable language and grammer that may prove too abraisive and amature for a wide demographic. These posts are often laced with humour although one might argue that the jokes are often few and far between; leaving mostly clumsy and often flimsy remarks that often read like sidenotes of a larger review that is absent altogether. Some posts, particularly possitive ones, are far too lengthy and come across as over indulgent (reviewing things that are only of interest to him). It is hard to imagine who the intended audience actually is. Reviews are often written retrospectively and would therefore have minimal impact and provide little incentive for an occassional reader to read his posts on a daily basis (which is the frequency at which he posts). Mr.b often jokingly cites close friends and family as readers although it is hard to imagine, say, his own mother reading it. In the end it is hard not to conclude that the intended audience is infact himself.

Whilst perhaps enjoyable as a few minutes of escapism, it is hard to recomment myself to anyone other than my girlfriend, friends and myself.

The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to "Doing a Beardy"

To start things up we're probably going to need to identify what "Doing a Beardy" actually is. In short it is a local colloquialism describing the act of wandering back and forth through the main mall (or CBD) because there's fuck all else to do. Ok, now that we've put our urban dictionaries down it's time to get into it.

First up you should check and make sure you have no other commitments. If you have work or an exam for example, then now is probably not the time to do a Beardy. Another aspect to consider is the time. A prime time to be doing a Beardy is either between 12pm and 1pm or after school. These timeslots are the times when the mall is at it's busiest, thus increasing your chances of (A) Bumping unexpectedly into someone you know; or (B) seeing some humorous or strange human behaviour.

Please note: If you are trying to avoid someone you may want to consider very carefully which time would be best for you to partake in a Beardy.

To enchance your Beardy experience you may want to take some loose change with you. Perhaps consider going down or meeting up with a friend or two. Not only does a companion liven up the experience, but having someone with you makes you look less lonely and desperate and therefore, more approachable. Having a friend whom is more popular and sociable than you also helps.

Now on to locations. The mall has many wonderful and varied places to visit; from cafes to clothing stores. Feel free to do a little window shopping as you meander between shops. Perhaps if you are feeling peckish you may consider buying some food or drink items to help sustain yourself. If you have friends or family members who are working at a nearby store you may want to pop in and see how they're going. If you followed my earlier advice on choosing the right time they may be taking their luchbreak soon; opening up a possible hour or so in which you could "hang" with them.

That's about all there is to it. Remember, the most important thing of all is that you have fun. Well that and distracting youself from the fact that you're unemployed, socially unacceptable and probably a sevre burden to that popular, well-adjusted guy you keep bugging to go downtown with you.