The Infinite Possiblogities 100th Post Spectacular

I have been toying and tinkering around with the idea of doing a 100th post celebration for a while now. At first I kind of thought I'd avoid that kinda thing as most things that celebrate their own existance tend to do so in a very boring way (think TV specials here). Besides celebrating a 100th post in this case implies that there are actual readers/loyal fans who are willing to join the celebrations...which I daresay there aren't. But on the other hand it's not everyday you're blog turns 100 (or whatever), which is the classic excuse everybody uses to cover up for the fact that they're about to jerk off, albiet creatively, in your face. So to avoid being too obtuse I decided the just make the 100th post a really big one comprised of many smaller semi-posts that each cover something I regularly post on. There's a bit of gaming commentary, a rant about something unsatisfactory, some special guest bloggers and even something brand spanking new and experimental that I've never done before (it's a video). Sounds kinda ok yes? Then let's get on with the show!

A Car Stereo Rant
A dear friend of mine recently had a 21st that I had to travel to get to. I hitched a ride with another dear friend and we all had a simply amazing weekend. To quote Dave "this is the best!"
On the way up and back we wanted to listen to music, it being a fairly lengthy trip and all. But there was a problem with that plan. The car had recently had its battery changed or some shit and as a result the car stereo had been tricked into thinking it was stolen and the security lock out was triggered. So all we needed to do was enter the code...but we didn't have it. Apparently they were never told the code. So we spent a fair hunk of time punching in four digit numbers trying to guess the code. Of course we never unlocked it. But my point is what the hell is the point in these gay security lockouts? They just fuck the owners over. I mean say the stereo were stolen, I would not give a single shit whether it worked for them or not. I mean I'm not gonna see it again so it's meaningless to me whether the criminal underground can pump their tunes or not. It's not as though the thieves will go "aww shit, it don't work or nuttin' without the code, let's break into the car again and return it." All it does is guarantee that the owner will have to either memorise another fucking four digit number to add to the pile of four digit numbers that life requires of you these days or make lengthy phonecalls to automated machines and try and figure out if you push 1 for the product being broken or push 2 to enquire about their security policies. Fuck you car stereo manufacturers!

Approximate Game Length
I'm sure that many of you have noticed that on the back of DVD (and indeed VHS) cases they tell us approximately how long the feature film on the disk takes to finish watching. Sounds fair enough right? It's a good idea to let people know how much time they're going to have to invest in this thing. They might not have enough time to watch all 3 hours of The Fellowship of the Ring in one sitting. Now I just have one question to ask. Why haven't games been given the same treatment? Why can't I be given a rough idea how much time I'll be needing to invest before I see the game reach a conclusion? It's probably even more important for games because where movies range from about 90mins to 80 mins games can range from a few hours to over 60 hours. Some games are a massive investment and it'd be nice to have a heads up before embarking on such a journey. I realise there exist a few complications that make the actual length of a game a little more ambiguous than a movie. A movie's length is always the same whereas game length can be a bit iffy given different levels of skill aswell as sidequests and the like. But really though surely they can give us something? I can occasionally find stuff like this out on online forums and they've all been accurate. So if one guy on a forum can give an accurate stab at it surely the actual game studio could aswell? Just get some of the game testers to run through the main story and average it out or something. I can't be that hard and it would only make our lives easier.

And now ladies and gentlemen, give an exceptionally warm welcome to Hanna from B is for Blog who took time out of her busy schedule today to make a special appearance on the Infinite Possiblogities 100th Post Spectacular.

Weird Inventions 101

It has come to my attention that in the past being an Inventor held some sort of prestige in the Job World. There was a true discrimination against pointless inventions which were instantly recognised and tossed out like the rubbish they were.

In the old days people like Thomas Edison designed the light so that we would not burn through the candle supply faster than the church on Good Friday. They were truly respected. These days its not so tough. Magazines such as Innovations bandy about “new inventions” that, quite frankly, the world could do without. My good pal, Mr. B., has pointed out such horrid inventions one of his past blogs about the Sexy Egg Fryer. It ended up at Sam’s Warehouse; a liquidation store. Need I say more?

So here are just a few of the inventions that are weird, whacky and mildly amusing.

Weird Invention 1

The toilet flush sound effect button.

This invention’s sole purpose is to mask the sound of people pissing in public and private toilets. The reason for its creation? Japanese women were embarrassed to go to the bathroom as others could hear them whizzing and the blushing dames could not face coming out of the bathroom and facing their listeners. Possibly the way Allen Jones felt when the Chaser comes to call. Originally these bashful babes would flush the toilet before AND after doing number 1s. This caused massive concern about the amount of water being wasted; especially considering the population of Japan. My point here really is: Is the flush really less embarrassing than what’s filling to toilet? I mean, really? It’s essentially the same thing, water splashing into more water. Everyone knows what you’re doing in there! So why bother? I guess this invention is weird but not useless as if they’re going to do it anyway may aswell save the water for drinking.

Weird Invention 2

The Soup Bowl Side Fan

This was also invented in Japan. This is an invention that makes sense but seriously? How impatient is the world getting. Is it not more pleasant to make conversation (unless of course it is the kind where you wish your mouth would start bleeding and you could politely excuse yourself.) and wait politely for it to cool off? What’s the rush? I mean, how hot is soup anyway? It says on the side of the can to heat it to hot but not boiling so when I SERVE the soup it is at an ideal temperature for eating.

And then there is the over-cooling risk. What if the soup was at an unnaturally high temperature, by some weird coincidence? Then you turn the fan on and it starts cooling. What if you get distracted by the cute waitstaff and forget about the soup and it gets too cold? Then you have three options. Pay for the uneatable soup and don’t eat it. This option is ok but then you waste your money. You eat the soup. But let’s face it, cold soup is none too appetising. Option three: you send it back for re-heating and either it comes back too hot and the whole process starts again OR the cute waiter/waitress you were flirting with thinks you are a fussy customer and thinks you are too much trouble to bother with. Lose-Lose either way you look at it.

Weird Invention 3

Fundies

I first heard about the Fundies on a bus in year 8. We were young, naïve and desperate to show each other that we knew more about sex and sex related paraphernalia than the others in our grade. “Pat, do you like Fundies?” a boy yelled, provocatively. “I’m not going to say yes until you tell me what they are” was his reply. “It’s a G-banger” the first boy retorted. Pat said “I like them on women.” And the other boy shut his mouth. But the Fundies craze was begun. In recent times, however, I have discovered that Fundies are in fact one set of underwear for 2 people. They are a sex toy…Much more interesting than a boring old g-string, but much more useless. I’m not entirely sure what the point of them is aside from keeping your partner closer and less likely to fall out. If your partner can’t stay in by himself maybe there are other, more pressing issues you need to be addressing. It is also supposed to enhance sex. Now here is the issue. If it enhances sex, the pleasure is supposed to be greater, right? So, if the pleasure is greater then and your partner can stay in longer then he is more likely to climax quicker. Therefore the time saved on staying in is lost in the pleasure, leaving you just as, or more unsatisfied than the start.

In conclusion inventors these days are hard pressed to come up with something people actually need. Therefore they just market shit to the consumer so that they won’t have to go sifting through the classifieds looking for a real job.

What Infinite Possiblogities Means to Me.

Well, I guess you could say that Mr. B introduced me to the blogging world. Therefore it has some shit going on that I don’t see in other blogs that I think should be there. Like wit. I mean, occasionally I come across a blog that displays an equal amount of wit as his. These are blogs like, oh, I dunno, B is for Blog. But other than that none of the blogs I have read are really up to scratch.

It all starts in the title, as Mr. B. so aptly put it in his “Guide to Writing a Blog.”

His title, demonstrates in 2 words his wit and his intentions. Amazing.

The only other real thing that I have drawn from this wondrous blog is that porn is a funnier, weirder version of American Pie.

The en….d

Like what you read? bis-forblog.blogspot.com

By Hanna

Mr. B's Top 5 Playstation 2 Games
I decided to include a Top 5 list of Playstation 2 games I've played through. There are definately other great PS2 games out there that aren't on the list but I can't list what I haven't played yet. I'm sure this little list will be of no interest, but here it goes.

5. Okami - A Zelda inspired adventure. Despite overstaying it's welcome and some repitition (I can't believe they make you fight the longest boss in the game 3 different times in exactly the same way each time. What's the fucking point?) it's still a high quality game worthy of attention.

4. Silent Hill 2 - One of my favourite stories ever told in a game. Creepy and subtle, it never settles for cheap scares and uses psychological elements to tell a story of guilt, punishment and loss.

3. Ico - Clever puzzles woven together with beatiful design and an ingaging, yet minimal story. Ico's legacy extends to the Prince of Persia: Sands of Time trilogy and even influenced the director of the movie Pans Labyrinth.

2. Final Fantasy X/Final Fantasy XII - I'm kind of cheating here giving two games the same spot, but I honestly can't decide which game is better. FFX has a far better story (especially the ending) where FFXII has better characters and exciting, reinvented gameplay. Play them both.

1. We Love Katamari - gay overtones, strong Japanese flavour and gameplay that revolves around rolling things in a ball. Who would have thought these components would come together in such an awesomely fun way?

What It's Really Like To Chew 5 Gum
To get the full enjoyment out of this video I suggest familiarising yourself with the 5 Gum Commercials if you aren't already. Youtube has them. I'm chewing Cobalt flavour in case you care.




Fucking hell. Do I really sound like that?

Anyway That just about wraps things up for the celebrations. I have plenty more ideas and blogs will hopefully be much more frequent. Well then, the parties over guys. GET OUT!

The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Diabetes Prevention

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I have Type 1 Diabetes. I'm ok with it personally. When people first find out or when they're just feeling curious they give me a little quiz on the matter. "What's it like?" "I bet you'd be used to it by now?" "I could never infject myself. I hate needles." So it's apparent to me that many people aren't particularly fond of the idea of personally having diabetes. So I thought I'd put their minds at rest by publishing The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Diabetes Prevention.

Warning: This guide is meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be followed in any way, shape or form. If you are infact an idiot and follow the guide anyway I am in no way responsible, no matter how good your lawyer is.

Moving right along, another common thing that people say when I say I'm diabetic as "yeah, I have an uncle with diabetes." So it seems only logical that in order to maximise your chances of remaining daibetes free you have to NOT become an uncle. Just make sure you're brothers and sisters remain single and unhappy and you should be fine. If you have a defiant, "good catch" for a brother or sister you should just make sure they practice safe sex. If they're trying for a child, sabotage them by slipping the pill into the woman's meals. If they're adopting, give a really bad reference. I guess you might really want a nephew or niece though. But don't worry, I have a backup plan.

You see sometimes people say that their father, not their uncle, is the one with diabetes. Now I know what you're thinking "But I want to raise a child Mr.B." That's why I say get a sex change after you have all your desired kids. What both being an uncle and a father have in common is the fact that you are a man. So become a woman and avoid diabetes today, the Infinite Possiblogities way!

Neither myself nor Infinite Possiblogities reccomend this course of action.

The Great Facebook Experiment

Let's face it, blogging was always going to appeal to me. Here I am, a 21 year old male with a shitload of opinions secretly building up inside of me that I would only feel comfortable expressing in an environment where I can't get punched in the face. So when someone (the use of the word "someone" in this case is a little more revealing than it may appear...it's an "in" reference) decided to tell me I should write a blog I did my best to play it cool and hide the fact that I was extremely excited by the thought. "yeah...maybe" is probably something like what I said at the time whilst I was secretly compiling a list of TV shows I thought should burn like a bag of dogshit on an old man's doormat. Anyway so I guess what I'm saying is that when the opportunity for blogging presented itself I felt I adapted to it rather well, with enthusiasm and fresh ideas. When my girlfriend set up a Facebook for me on the sly however, I was fairly conflicted on the matter. Aside from the fact I have little time as it is to do things I actually give a shit about (gaming, blogging, drowning my sorrows) Facebook really seemed like something I would dislike. I didn't get it. Essentially it appeared to me to be the same as a blog, except with a zillion apps to distract from the fact that nobody had anything interesting to say to one another. So when I finally took the wheel of my own Facebook I just stared at it a while, tagged myself in a few photos, sent a few friend requests and logged the fuck out. Is this what I was supposed to be doing? I was honestly confused. Is this how you use Facebook? I still don't really know what I'm doing but I guess I'm starting to get over my initial reservations now. I realised I could probably use my Facebook to advertise new posts on my blog (fucking sad). Plus Sam Thornton is on Facebook, that's a good enough reason for me to keep it.

The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Improving Japanese RPG's

Love 'em or hate 'em JRPG's are a very popular force. I like some of them, I even love a few, but it's a genre with some serious issues. The main problem I find is that they all adhere rather strictly to the same archaic formula they've had ever since the freaking 1980's. That's fucking ridiculous when you think about it. That's almost 30 years with only a few major changes. Imagine if that happened in music. Imagine if someone decided to halt musical creativity around the 70' or 80's and just keep making those same popular albums over and over again except just changing the cover art or mashing up the lyrics a bit. "Fuck that!" is what we'd say "I'm not paying for that shit, I'll just download it of the Internet for free."Hey...wait a minute. Anyway about 2 years ago Final Fantasy XII was released and it actually changed quite a few things withing the genre for the better. The combat, for example, is livened up a lot by abolishing random encounters and making the AI customisable. It was very refreshing. However I found that the game is still a bit too long and samey for my liking which brings me to my next point. Game length. JRPG's are legendarily long, with playtimes often up to 50 hours to get through the main storyline. I would normally say that the solution to this is rather simple, cut alot of shit out, but it's actually not that easy. I can think of two reasons this would fuck the genre up. One is that the devoted fans would be mighty pissed off to have precious gametime reduced. Secondly is that JRPG's tell epic tales and if the gameplay was cut short the story would have to be aswell for the sake of balance. So I have two solutions here. One is to have multiple difficulty levels in JRPG's. I don't wanna have to be forever bogged down in leveling up my character just for one fucking almighty boss that pops up out of nowhere amoungst a sea of fucking retarded regular enemies. Save that shit for the freaks who love nothing more than masturbating as their tanked up character kicks the shit out of the games superboss. My other suggestion is to mix other gameplay elements into the mix. Other genres do it. Bioshock isn't JUST a shooting game, it has rpg and puzzle elements. Blue Dragon, forgiving some other faults, had the right idea here I felt. The odd rail shooter part certainly spiced things up. Next to go under the microscope is the story. As mentioned earlier the stories are Lord-of-the-Rings-Trilogy-esque. Overall the story is usually the best part of a JRPG and the main thing that the genres devotees go nuts for. In many ways it's also the biggest flaw within the JRPG genre because it tries so hard to excuse the anceint combat mechanics. But there are some very VERY annoying things that feature in many JRPG stories that I just flat out want erradicated. Let's just list 'em 'ay?

1. I don't give a fuck about the motives of the minor characters
2. Drop the non-human character who leaves behind their secluded villiage, their family and their culture.
3. Make a protagonist that isn't a straight up dick
4. Don't even think about designing an annoying, "cute" character who you just want dead (examples include Marumaro from Blue Dragon and the kids from Lost Odyssey, they were more horrible than you could ever imagine)
5. Thou shalt not say "I believe in myself"
6. same with believing in friends and the power of friendship or love
7. Make more slick charaters like Balthier from FFXII

Anyway I'm sure you've all said "fuck this shit, it's one of his serious gaming blogs" by this point and closed the page. Hell I don't blame you but I sure enjoyed getting this shit off my chest. Maybe someone from Japan will actually have my blog translated for them and then read it and say "good gosh, this man's a genius, let's abandon our winning, money-making formula that's made us rich for 30 years and hire him as supreme overlord of our next project."It's possible right? Right?...

The Infinite Possiblogities Guide To Taking Down the Christmas Tree

I realise it may be a little late to be of immediate relevance but I figured I'd post it anyway. In the weeks (or days) leading up to Christmas we're filled with holiday warmth and joy as we carefully dress the tree in its tinsel, lights and stars. But afterwards the tree is discarded (or packed away I guess for all you plastic tree owners) impatiently and without remorse. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this intro, just pointing out how odd it is that we bring midget pine-trees into our living room I guess. So fuck it, here's a guide on how to kick that sucker out of your home.

Firstly make sure Christmas is over. I don't wanna get you all juiced up with my excellent guide only to have you chuck the thing out prematurely. But not only should you wait for the actual day to finish, but I advise that you wait until all your holiday merriment is well and truely extinguished. All you Scrooges out there will probably have already done the deed on Boxing Day, but for us it's dismantled around the time it starts going brown and limp. So after the tree is past it's prime you should also remember to take the decorations off and pack them away. Now's a good time to remove any broken ornaments or faulty lights from the yearly rotation before packing them away safely for next year. Once you're tree is all naked and sexy pick it up and chuck it out you idiot. Burn it, chop it up, lift it over the fence and drop it in your neighbours pool. Getting rid of anything (excluding say...a person) is really easy and you can apply the same "take object and make it gone" principle to practically anything. So just man (or woman) the fuck up and do it. It's not really that hard and doesn't require a guide you dick.

I Still Love You...I Promise

Ah yes, my blog. That thing I created ages ago during that period when my ego was quite swollen and led me to believe that my blog may grant me money and respect. This could be my big break...WRONG! Several months later after a dizzying surge in my popularity which occured around the time that I made fun of pornographic director Ben Dover I have dropped back from my daily posting habits and perhaps in the number of fanatical devotees aswell. Anyway I'm back and I'm just letting you know that even though I've kept my 4 devoted fans waiting for so long I do still have plenty of ideas for Infinite Possiblogities. The reason the postings have become spacey as of late is because I have a job now and it's thrusting its' large, throbbing shifts into my moist, tight leisure time. So no need to panic, Infinite Possiblogities is far from dead. I will continue to review crappy things, make nerdy observations and ejactulate all of my word-semen across the face (and breasts) of the internet.

P.S. I think I have a problem.

The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Being a Villain

So now that I'm well and truly over Kevin Bloody Wilson and his enraged fan base (apparently it WASN'T who we thought it was guys...I checked) I thought I'd finally get back to blogging about important things (yeah right). Anyway enough with the furious masturbating, it's time to present to you the Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Being a Villain (as seen in the title).

Anyway I'm sure we've all at some stage seen a movie and thought the villain was awesome. Let's face it, hero's are often cookie-cutter, two-dimensional characters who's only two goals in life are stopping evil and having a tangled relationship with the damsel in distress. Villains are were the writers have the REAL fun. Sometimes they are a socially unadjusted misfit, sometimes they are orphaned by a horrible event and sometimes their just nihilistic cunts who get off on watching people panic. That said though there is definitely a lot of familiar ground that can be tread when developing the character of a villain. So just in case any of my readers wanted to become the most stereotypical villain ever I thought I'm compile this list of things the do. Enjoy!

First of all it's always a good idea to become a part of a prophecy. These prophecies usually involve a great force of evil rising up to claim a powerful artifact and then a hero vanquishing them. It always interested me the way the villain is perfectly happy to accept that they are the dark force and that the artifact they seek is indeed powerful but then seem to dismiss the part about eventually getting their arse handed to them. But prophecies and premonitions aside, you aren't a real villain until you've actually done something evil, right? And what better place to start than by burning down the smallest, most peaceful village you can find and killing all of it's inhabitants except one child of about 10-13 years old. This kid will eventually kill you, but for now just stand about and cackle like the complete bastard that you are.
Helpful tip: for full effect try to stand in a way so that the flames of the fire are well reflected in your eyes.

Another way to be a bastard is terrorise an attractive young woman. The hero will save her and fall in love and all that shit but it's important that you do it. Just trust me on that one I guess.

Another thing to be sure to do is treat your underlings with extreme distain, disgust and contempt. They will grovel and seek your approval no matter how shitty you treat them. Also be sure to have a few incompotent ones fairly high up in oder to both provide comic relief and provide windows of opportunity so that the heroes are capable of eventually overthrowing you.

Whilst waiting for the hero to get his shit together (believing in himself, sorting out his relationship issues, sewing his costume, etc.) you should get to work practising your dramatic monologues, ready for when you'll have to deliver them to the hero during the final showdown. Be sure to pace the room, gaze out of the window and survey the chaos you've caused and recall some horrible memories about the protagonists' family and friends who perished at your hands. Mention how they suffered, begged and screamed. Call his mum a slut. Something along these lines. Anything that'll psyche him out. Perhaps if you wanted you could even say that "KEVIN BLOODY WILSON IS FUCKING SHIT!" It certainly stirs up some people.

The Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Blogging

This picture has nothing to do with the post. Just thought a steam-punk Pacman was pretty awesome.

It's time I faced the facts. I'm becoming a bit lazy when it comes to my blog these days, and the quality of Infinite Possiblogities is suffering because of it. So it's time to step up and lift my game. I realise that writing a blog about "how to blog" in order to save your own blog is an extremely risky move. The risk is, of course, looking like a desperate and confused tosser trying to claw back some credability. Anyway, jerking off aside I present to you the Infinite Possiblogities Guide to Blogging.

The first thing to do when starting a blog is perhaps to plan ahead for maybe a week or two in advance. Starting off a blog impulsively is fine but you run the risk of running out of steam by the 3rd post and wondering what it is you actually wanna say. The purpose of your blog is something you're going to find hard to justify to yourself on a daily basis. Once you're over that little hurdle it's time to think of a name for your blog. Here I strongly advise against calling your blog anything like "Whatever" or "Just Started This Coz I was Bored." Be a bit more creative than that. Try and clarify or convey some sort of purpose in your title. There would have to be millions of half-arsed, 2 post blogs out there and calling your blog "Stuff" will likly convince potential readers that your blog is one of them. Anyway once your cool, new blog is up and running it's time to start the actual blogging process and belive me this is no easy task. If you imagine that a blog is like a child. You have to nourish it with regular, wholesome posts so that it becomes big and strong. But too many junk posts and your blog will become bloated and unattractive to look at. It might even become the victim of bullying by the other cool blogs. Speaking of bullying, going out and acting like a complete tool on the internet can actually be a good thing in terms of boosting your number of readers and it gives you something to post about if your imagination otherwise fails you. For example if I went out to some other random blogs and started leaving negative feedback they will probably get offended and either blog about you or comment on one of your blogs. If you retaliate there will be a bit of an online feud involving friends and fans and the potential for dragging more allies into the fray is slightly increased. Of course this may not always pay off. If you're a totally, unlikable douche then it is possible you will turn people off but then it's hard to say because even people who annonymously spout uninformed hate accross the net seem to get alot of readers (mostly because of that I'd say). Now this is actually something I've never personally stooped to. I've always challenged myself and held myself to a higher standard than that and have resisted using any cheap tricks to win over fans. There is also the option of sending compliments instead of stiring shit. Again this is a tactic I don't employ myself but keep in mind that my blog is slowing wanking itself into a horrid mess, so perhaps following what I do isn't the most prosperous move you could make.

PS if all else fails you could always try taking cheap shots at pornographic movies. I didn't even know anyone read my blogs until I did that.

Recaps and Changes

Just to recap how hard Alex Kidd in Miracle World really truely is just get a load of this pic. Last time I played this is where I got to. This is the furthest I've ever been in this game and I've pretty much given in at this point. Just remember that in THIS game Alex automatically floats upward and so as well as moving left and right it is also necessary to hold down at certain points. Not TOO much of course because then you'd simply get spiked from below. Fuck! That's all I can say.

Now I'm guessing that if there is anyone out there who is still interested at all in my blog they're probably wondering whether I got that Sanity job. The answer is...no idea. Miss Sanity at HR never called me back, despite her promise. I called up the local branch and quizzed the manager and he assured me that they should be calling back soon. "Give 'em a couple more days" he said. He explained that they're doing a LOT of interviews at the moment. So fair enough...I'll just wait some more and so will you.

Added a few "Gadgets" to my blog. You can now see what other blogs I read, subscribe to my blog and inflate my ego by becomming a fan. I currently have zero fans listed but I predict it will get pretty busy in that little box soon. So if you want some bragging rights for when I'm famous you should definately be the first to sign up. Another new change is that I've started wearing shorts. It went from fucking eskimo weather to flippin'...I dunno, it was just really hot, ok?

The Interview part 1

I have spent all morning on my bed, phone by my side running over answers in my head in anticipation of the phone interview I was about to have. Yes, that's right. Mr. B could soon be working at the local Sanity store. Not only would this be a source of income it may also give me new posting topics. Anyway I had the interview and felt pretty good about it. At this point I'd like to say just how cool phone interviews are. None of this wondering if you'll look well dressed or like a mommy's boy, over the phone you're judged in areas I feel much more comfortable in. There I was, in a familiar and comfortable environment, trying to impress the interviewer in my PJ's. Anyway whether I get the job or not I'll be told by Friday and I'll pass the verdict on to you. Will it be a moment of glory or failure? Stay tuned and find out!

The Catch Up

Far out I've been shit to my blog the past week. If I.P. was my child then I'm pretty sure a concerned neighbour would have dobbed me in to the cops by now and my face would be all over the evening news. The truth of the matter is that the past week has been a fairly full one. Now because I'm fairly sure that the whole point of blogging is to inflict the tales of your own exciting (or boring) lives upon the public I feel that I should give a bit of a rundown on what I've been up to the past week.

Monday was one of the few days this week where I actually DID blog. After giving Femalien the thumbs down I played Super Paper Mario for a considerable hunk of the day. At some point later on in the evening My friends, brothers, girlfriend (just for the record I'm not one of those guys who calls his girlfriend "My Girlfriend" all the time like it's her name, I'm just not down with giving out names on my blog) and I went to the local art gallery to see the Year 12 Major Works Exhibition. Art, Dance, Music and Drama students all showed off their hard work and took comfort in the knowledge that at least one (maybe two or three for some students) large part of the HSC was over.

Tuesday I was feeling pretty guilty about the fact that I hadn't been doing any TAFE work the previous day. So what did I do? Well I went on a picnic with a few of my friends and had a jolly old time at the park until the weather turned against us. I then declined an offer to go to the movies because of that aweful feeling of falling behind I had got from ignoring TAFE the past couple of days.

Wednesday I did TAFE until about 7pm when I met up with a few of my friends to go see Cog live. I enjoyed the show immensly. I liked how close I could easily get to the band because of the smallish venue. Saw some sus chick whoring it up with two different guys and we got rubbish hurled at us for dissing on Disturbed. An awesome night out I'd say.

Thursday I woke up at the GF's house and looked after her for a while because she was unwell. When I got home I immediately went to The Escapist to watch the new Zero Punctuation video (did anyone follow that link when I posted about him? You can tell me he's shit if you like, I won't get offended). Played some Fable and NiGHTS: Journey of Dreams. Oh and I also posted that day, vowing never to miss a day of posting again.

Friday I didn't post again. Did a few Beardy's with some friends. Visited sick GF. Had dinner. Had a humiliating game of pool in an unfamiliar pool environment (our usual pick of the pubs for pool was having a filthy function and as a result excluded us fron the pool tables). Feeling ashamed we went to a friends house and watched 10 Items or Less for a little bit. Then I went home, woke up, ate breakfast, made myself a pretty bad coffee and wrote this boring post. Enjoy.

This Post's Too Shit for a Title

Let me just start off by saying that I have officially managed to keep this blog updated daily for 3 weeks. You may recall from my very first post that I was skeptical of my abilities to offer anything worth reading and predicted that I would be packing an unfinished blog into the back of the closet. It's kinda strange admitting this but I find blogging a satisfying and enriching experience. Just though I'd let you know, that IS what blogging is all about after all (isn't it?).

Fuck! I was gonna post some more shit, but I'm needed elsewhere right now. Many appologies to my loyal readers who have come to expect more from me, but this might have to be all for today. Perhaps you might like to bask in the irony of the fact that this post was supposed to celebrate my unexpected longevity and in itself is by far one of the shortest postings I've ever made. Once again, sorry guys. Hopefully I've greatly improved by Monday.

PS. Got our new fridge this afternoon. It's fucking sweet!

A Day in the Life

It seems that whilst I've been running off on personal agendas with my blog (about 1/3 praise and 2/3 chastising) I've sorta been neglecting to do the whole "today I brushed my teeth" kinda blog. You're probably asking yourselves about now whether I've "lost my touch" or not (at the moment I'm kinda thinking that too) but I woke up this morning with some slightly out-of-the-ordinary (I can hyphonate whatever I want) news. I'm not sure if this'll interest you in the slightest, I suppose the reason I'm posting it is to test you. Feel free to comment me. Anyway back to my life. I woke up this morning to my mum bustling around the house, in and out of phonecalls with Harvey Norman, Retravision and my dad. As it turns out we are in need of a new fridge (this is what he's gonna blog about? I'm gonna leave him the most negative feedback he's ever seen). I must say I had noticed our fridge was starting to "lose it's groove" in the past week or so, what with all the luke-warm milk and all. I must say that even though it is JUST a fridge I'm a little excited. We've had the old fridge for as long as I can remember, maybe even longer than that. I can't wait to see the new fridge, all shiny and new, completely sterile and clean. It's a good oportunity to chuck out some of the weird shit that's been lurking (not to mention expiring) in the dark recesses of our old fridge. Anything we don't really want will not make the transfer. Fridge magnets and photo's are currently under review until further notice. Fridges are so exciting, I can't wait 'til...WHAT AM I WRITING!?!
I'm sorry folks I'm just going to get away from the computer for a bit, collect my thoughts and start again. OK? OK...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Ok. So there I was watching this really shit TV show...

Olympic Opening Ceremony

For me the Beijing Olympic Opening Ceremony achieved two things. China celebrated its ancient, colourful history rich in tradition and its polluted, secretive, communist present whilst Channel Seven continued its rich tradition of having completely shit commentary. I mean really, do we need someone to tell us there are "Tai Chi performers, on the floor" when they are in plain sight? Just to get all my broadcaster bitchings out of the way quickly I'd also like to point out how sudden and jarring the transitions into the ad-breaks were. One moment you were watching a softly lit, beautifully orchestrated metaphor for something or rather and in the blink of an eye a loud and brash ad for some garbage TV show is thrust into all of your relaxed senses. So let's just say "fuck you" to Channel Seven and move onto the actual event.





The BOOC was for the most part spectacular; featuring wonderful costumes, performances and that intricate attention to detail that you associate with Chinese design. Because the whole event ran for well over 4 hours I'm going to briefly outline some of the acts. There was:

• A giant scroll that dancers wrote on


• A handful of the most rigidly disciplined soldiers the human race has ever produced


• A Chinese Astronaut


• A Tai-chi light show


• Chinese ravers wearing flouro yellow bodysuits wrapped in Christmas lights


• A more innocent, tolerable and Chinese Niki Webster


• An excruciatingly slow moving duet


• Bagpipes playing Scotland the Brave...for some reason


• A ring of attractive, young, cheerleaderesque girls who were forced to jump, wave and dance about enthusiastically whilst the athletes from every single competing country marched out (plus they were wearing high-heeled cowboy boots...sucks to be them)

• And a giant, cooler version of the round lightshade I have in my bedroom (see the picture above)

Olympic Opening Ceremonies do have a tendancy to drag on a fair bit and the Beijing attempt was no acception. Watching every single competing nation walk a lap of the stadium is probably the largest contributing factor. By this time in the evening you'd be forgiven for forgetting that the Olympics is a sports thing. To be honest though, I enjoyed practically everything else. I think that's about all I have to say. The torch lighting was pretty cool aswell; it seemed to be a symbol of their creation of fireworks (which also played a large part in the celebrations).

I promise that tomorrows post will be funnier...maybe...

This is How I Will Lose My Fans

Brace yourselves people. I am about to do something quite wankerish and absurd. Perhaps you will find a enough parody and self-loathing in this to find it acceptable; perhaps you will delete me from your favourites list and stop recommending me to your friends. But blow the costs. Today I review...my own blog.

Mr. B is the creative mind behind the Infinite Possiblogities page on Blogspot. Posts on Infinite Possiblogities consist largely of observations and pseudo-reviews written in an informal, manner and are often highly critical. Posts often feature questionable language and grammer that may prove too abraisive and amature for a wide demographic. These posts are often laced with humour although one might argue that the jokes are often few and far between; leaving mostly clumsy and often flimsy remarks that often read like sidenotes of a larger review that is absent altogether. Some posts, particularly possitive ones, are far too lengthy and come across as over indulgent (reviewing things that are only of interest to him). It is hard to imagine who the intended audience actually is. Reviews are often written retrospectively and would therefore have minimal impact and provide little incentive for an occassional reader to read his posts on a daily basis (which is the frequency at which he posts). Mr.b often jokingly cites close friends and family as readers although it is hard to imagine, say, his own mother reading it. In the end it is hard not to conclude that the intended audience is infact himself.

Whilst perhaps enjoyable as a few minutes of escapism, it is hard to recomment myself to anyone other than my girlfriend, friends and myself.