The Celebration

Dear Readers,
I am a little bit pissed right now (as in alcohol) because I just landed myself a job at Sam's Warehouse and my bro's and ho's had their last day at school today. Celebrations all round, I do declare. I must say that Sam's Warehouse (owned by Sam don'tcha know?) was mighty quick to get me on the team. I only handed my resume to them yesterday and 24 hours later I'm celebrating success.It certainly puts Sanity to shame, those guys left it to me to chase it up weeks later and even then it was prognosis negative. So I guess it's mood swings ahoy these days, what with being all bitter and twisted 2 days ago an all and now being super happy like a Japanese bubble gum factory (what the fuck am I on about?). Anyway, because I'm sooo good to my fans and because I love you alll sooo much (sheds a tear) I thought I'd let you know and I'll continue to keep you up to date with every little thing in my life that I feel like reviewing or writing about. Forgive all my inconsistancies, typo's and shitty articles coz I love all you cunts. I rant, I ramble, I blog. And I do it all for you.

PS. If I remember tomorrow's post might be a "Saterday Hangover Special"...stay tuned.

Chill Out Mr. B, Just Watch Some House to Take Your Mind Off

It's nice to occasionally be reminded I have readers. I blog day in and day out and only really get comments when I make refernces to porn or go completely nuts because I'm still miserably unemployed. Anyway after yesterdays outburst which seemed to make you all a little uncomfortable (thanks for the feedback guys) I actually felt alot better. The rest of my day was actually alot better. My aunt has offered me some reasonable summer time work (gardening and lawn mowing) out of sympathy for her pathetic nephew and in the 'eve I sat down with my bro's and ho's to watch the first episode of the brand new season of House. In case you've never heard of house I thought I'd better start by saying "get away from the computer, you'll break it! Go back to your cave!" That's right. Everybody knows who and what House is. Let me just say that House is one of my favourite things. It's right up there with Ghost in the Shell, The Games, Zelda and Cum Eating Asians (just thought I'd chuck that one in for old times sake). Season five is off to a captivating start and after the first episode I just wished I had the damn thing on DVD so I could punish the whole thing in a few days like the TV-to-DVD junkie I am. By the end of it all I had completely gotten over my Sanity insanity (Haw...Haw...Haw...). Anyway so today I was back on the horse riding into a sunset of employment. Armed with about 20 resumes I took to the streets in search of Positions Vacant. Crazy Clarks and the Reject Shop were both after Christmas staff and one of the bottle shops had just had someone leave, so fingers crossed.

PS. I know one of you will probably email me about how I didn't spend enough time talking about House, even though it's in the title. Don't bother. You know who you are.

The Interview Part II

"Unfortunately you have been unsuccessful this time." Fuck you Sanity! I can't belive they left me hanging for almost five days longer than they said they would. I'm sure they would've done so for longer too had I not been chasing them up all damn day. How do you end up with that job anyway? The one were you sit around promising to phone people but never fucking doing it. Jesus I am angry and bitter about this! It's so damn disheartening. Why don't people want me working for them? I would be fucking awesome. The kind of employee who would take all your crap, take pride in his job and do whatever's necessary. I would've made people feel awesome about buying whatever crap they listen to. "Yeah the new Pete Murray album is supposed to be really good." "I've heard great things about the Billie Joe Armstrong solo album."But oh well, I guess it just wasn't meant to be. I guess I'll just have to wait another couple of months or so until something else comes up for me.

Recaps and Changes

Just to recap how hard Alex Kidd in Miracle World really truely is just get a load of this pic. Last time I played this is where I got to. This is the furthest I've ever been in this game and I've pretty much given in at this point. Just remember that in THIS game Alex automatically floats upward and so as well as moving left and right it is also necessary to hold down at certain points. Not TOO much of course because then you'd simply get spiked from below. Fuck! That's all I can say.

Now I'm guessing that if there is anyone out there who is still interested at all in my blog they're probably wondering whether I got that Sanity job. The answer is...no idea. Miss Sanity at HR never called me back, despite her promise. I called up the local branch and quizzed the manager and he assured me that they should be calling back soon. "Give 'em a couple more days" he said. He explained that they're doing a LOT of interviews at the moment. So fair enough...I'll just wait some more and so will you.

Added a few "Gadgets" to my blog. You can now see what other blogs I read, subscribe to my blog and inflate my ego by becomming a fan. I currently have zero fans listed but I predict it will get pretty busy in that little box soon. So if you want some bragging rights for when I'm famous you should definately be the first to sign up. Another new change is that I've started wearing shorts. It went from fucking eskimo weather to flippin'...I dunno, it was just really hot, ok?

The Interview part 1

I have spent all morning on my bed, phone by my side running over answers in my head in anticipation of the phone interview I was about to have. Yes, that's right. Mr. B could soon be working at the local Sanity store. Not only would this be a source of income it may also give me new posting topics. Anyway I had the interview and felt pretty good about it. At this point I'd like to say just how cool phone interviews are. None of this wondering if you'll look well dressed or like a mommy's boy, over the phone you're judged in areas I feel much more comfortable in. There I was, in a familiar and comfortable environment, trying to impress the interviewer in my PJ's. Anyway whether I get the job or not I'll be told by Friday and I'll pass the verdict on to you. Will it be a moment of glory or failure? Stay tuned and find out!

In the Dead of Night

As I have made mention of in previous posts I am unemployed and as an unemployed bum it is my duty to be awake at 1 or 2am every night. Sometimes I'll be playing through a game that I love more than food and showering and other times I'll be watching some late night TV. Now late night TV, as we all know I'm sure, can be a mixed bag. The mixed bag in this case is 90% soft core mobile phone porn, religious broadcasts and infomercials. The other 10% is what I consider to be a watchable television program. Anyway though lets just backtrack a little to talk about those fucking mobile ads. You know the ones right? "Free Adult Babe Videos" and what-have-you when all you want is to watch the rest of Flight of the Concords. Who actually buys this shit? If I wanted porn I'm quite capable of finding it for free on the net, my computer's also got a bigger and better screen than any mobile phone I've ever seen. I can just imagine the kind of seedy insomniacs who would subscribe to this shit, laying on the couch in front of the TV squinting at the boobies on their mobile screen. But then another thought struck me. As I mentioned earlier in the post I am unemployed and I'm pretty sure that the majority of people who are watching TV at this hour are in a similar situation. Somehow I can't see very many people with no incomes paying $4 (or whatever) for a girl in her underpants moaning and writhing around on her bed in a way that, to me, says "seizure" more than "orgasm." But whatever, I guess I don't really care who buys this shit. After all it's just some shitty mobile club designed to wring money out of unwary saps. So next time you're up late and all alone do yourself a favour, instead of paying a rediculous amount on money just go to the internet. Here's two sites for you that should help get you started (incase you're an idiot you probably shouldn't view these at work)

www.pichunter.com

www.youporn.com

Victoria Roberts is Shit

I'm going to skip the whole intro thing and just say it. I hate Victoria Roberts comics. Every week in the back page of The Weekend Australian Magazine, there she is. You can always rely on her cartoons being shit, just like you can rely on the changing tide. The thing that pisses me off the most is she gets paid for it. Does she have the fucking cushiest job in the word or what? I mean think about it, she gets a whole fucking week to work on this single frame and it never says anything sensible; and she gets paid. This stings especially hard for an unemployed soul such as me; slaving away on my blog trying to make it in this crazy world. Writing new posts everyday, hoping to hit the big time. I mean just have a look at the example I have provided. What IS it!? It's nothing. I mean some people think blogs are pretentious wank but holy shit, Victoria Roberts takes the cake and eats it too. This isn't even her at her worst. One week it was a picture of a naked woman holding a feather duster and jumping over a pot plant; the caption read "spring cleaning." I'm sorry if my blogs have quickly turned into bitchy rants but I must say that Victoria Roberts really, really, shits me. Tomorrow, just for a change, I promise I'll try and talk about something I actually LIKE.